In March, we learned that New York’s sad, probably mostly broken pay phones will be replaced with fancy new touch-screen Internet kiosks. Of course, as every iPhone user knows, touch screens are specially designed to collect filth, which means that public ones will likely end up somehow more (visibly) disgusting than pay phones. Not to worry, says the aptly named Tom Touchet, who runs the company responsible for maintaining the machines, which will display neighborhood information like lists of nearby restaurants, sales, traffic updates, and safety alerts. As he explained to the Post, “They’re waterproof and dust-proof. They’re built to be cleaned with a jet hose.” Two hundred-fifty kiosks will be installed throughout the five boroughs next month, hopefully with round-the-clock hose attendants.