President Obama Survives Yogurt Attack

After years of shaking hands along rope lines, President Obama has come to expect a number of things. People grabbing him like an old friend and giving him big bear hugs. Women handing him their babies so he can bless them with his magic president powers. Zombies. But nothing could have prepared Obama for what he encountered yesterday outside a dive bar in Boulder, Colorado: flying yogurt. “Oh lookit, you got me. You got me!’’ Obama cried out as the yogurt struck his leg, a harrowing moment that will forever haunt the dreams of Obama’s Secret Service detail.

Initial reports pegged University of Colorado freshman Kolbi Zerbest as the perpetrator of the yogurt attack, but on the Today show this morning, Zerbest insisted that the paparazzi were to blame. The FBI is also searching for a strange man with an umbrella who was seen in the area at the time.

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