death by fries

Man Throws Fries at Stepdaughter, Charged With Assault With Dangerous Weapon

A chicken sandwich propped up by a bed of weapons.

And the “dangerous weapon” tag has nothing to do with the caloric or sodium content of Mickey D’s french fries. According to CBS, 26-year-old James Hackett of Lowell, Massachusetts, got into an argument with his wife at a McDonald’s, and when his young stepdaughter attempted to break it up, he allegedly threw hot fries in her face. Hackett pleaded not guilty to the charge of assault with a dangerous weapon following his arrest. Massachusetts law defines a weapon as “an instrument of offensive or defensive combat; … anything used, or designed to be used, in destroying, defeating, or injuring an enemy.” Did you or did you not attempt to destroy your stepdaughter with those fries, Mr. Hackett!?

Man Arrested in French Fry Assault