The Possibly Unbearable Handsomeness of a Romney-Thune Ticket

Photo: Joe Raedle/Getty Images, Allison Shelley/Getty Images

Buried up to his neck in a cesspool of bad press, from his Bain responsibility-dodging to his totally-innocuous-but-still-top-secret-for-some-reason tax returns, Mitt Romney may decide to announce his running mate selection “as soon as this week,” the Times reports today. Simultaneously this morning, the Hill reveals that South Dakota Senator John Thune has met with Romney’s “senior advisers” in Boston, including Beth Myers, who is spearheading the veep search.

So will it be Thune? No idea. What we do know is that if Romney picks Thune — who we’re not totally convinced isn’t actually Guy Pearce preparing for a movie role as a U.S. senator — he’ll have created one damn good-looking ticket. Nice hair, square jaws, prominent chins, dazzling smiles. Seeing those two campaign together would be like wandering into an L.L. Bean photo shoot on a pleasant autumn afternoon. Barack “Dumbo Ears” Obama and Joe “Hair Plugs” Biden look like a traveling freak show in comparison.

The question is whether this would be a good thing for Romney. Numerous studies have shown that voters prefer attractive candidates, but what about two of them, side by side, practically mocking us with their flawless Ken doll visages? Do Americans want to vote for a ticket that reminds them of themselves, or one that reminds them of what America will look like two hundred years from now after a dystopian eugenics program cleanses society of ugly DNA?

Would a Romney-Thune Ticket Be Too Beautiful?