the great switcheroo

Respected, Reliable Newsman Ed Klein Has a Hot Scoop on the Biden-Clinton Switch

US Vice President Joe Biden (C), US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (L) and White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel (R) stand in the Oval Office of the White House while US President Barack Obama (not pictured) meets with President of Palestine Mahmoud Abbas (not pictured) May 28, 2009 in Washington DC.
Joe Biden stares ominously at Hillary Clinton. Photo: Michael Reynolds-Pool/Getty Images

Ed Klein has previously discovered that Chelsea Clinton was conceived via Bill Clinton’s rape of Hillary Clinton and that Hillary is a secret lesbian, so on all things Clinton, he is the go-to guy for groundbreaking scoops. Today he has another one about the Rumor That Will Never Die, a.k.a. the Great Switcheroo, in which Joe Biden is locked in the White House basement and replaced by Hillary Clinton on President Obama’s reelection ticket. Everyone else is in the political-media world is just speculating, but Klein? Klein is reporting:

As recently as a couple of weeks ago, the White House was putting out feelers to see if Hillary Clinton was interested in replacing Joe Biden on the ticket,” Klein told Secrets. “Bill Clinton, I’m told, was urging his wife to accept the number two spot if it was formally offered. Bill sees the vice presidency as the perfect launching pad for Hillary to run for president in 2016.”

Klein, whose book is No. 2 on the NYT bestseller list, quoted unnamed sources who revealed that top Obama aide Valerie Jarrett put the vice presidency on the table during a lunch with the secretary of state. “The lunch was ostensibly about policy issues, but the subject of the vice presidency came up,” he said. “Hillary told Valerie Jarrett that she was not interested in running as Obama’s vice president.”

In other words, while leading Mitt Romney in the polls, and before Joe Biden even said the word “chains” in front of an undetermined number of black people, President Obama was trying to make a shocking, unprecedented change to his ticket. Bill Clinton, as always, was urging Hillary to do it, because according to the voices inside Ed Klein’s head, Bill Clinton is always urging Hillary to either run against Obama or run with Obama or run beside Obama when he goes jogging. Basically, whenever there’s a chance for Hillary to do anything, Bill is always urging her to do it. 

State Department spokesman Philippe Reines was quick to respond to Klein’s report, and he did it via what the Weekly Standard seems to think is an attempt at a Dr. Seuss–type rhyme, although it does not rhyme:

This did not happen
“They did not have lunch
“They did not have any meal
“They did not meet this month
“They did not meet last month
“They did not meet in 2012
“They did not meet in 2011, 2010, 2009
“This is not happening
“Truth is that Ed Klein is an idiot with not a shred of credibility
“Truth is that Ed Klein’s motto is ‘If at first you don’t succeed, lie lie again.’”

If Reines were trying to rhyme, his response probably would have gone something like:

They did not meet up for a lunch

They did not meet, despite Ed’s hunch

There is no way that Hillary

Was asked to be the new VP

Please do not listen to Ed Klein

He makes up bullshit all the time.

Ed Klein Has Scoop on Biden-Clinton Switch