imagined conversations

Don’t Look at Porn at Work, Especially If You Work for the Missile Defense Agency

A picture taken in 1971 shows a nuclear explosion in Mururoa atoll.
Thanks. Photo: AFP/Getty Images

The year is 2019. North Korea, on the orders of Kim Jong-un, who is upset that his wife has been refused a record deal in the United States, has just launched nuclear missiles at Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Seattle. Employees inside Missile Defense Agency headquarters have only moments to respond. 

MDA Employee No. 1: Oh shit, man.

MDA Employee No. 2: What happened?

MDA Employee No. 1: This is one of the hottest lesbian scenes ever. 

MDA Employee No. 2: Nice. 

[Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Seattle explode.]

Missile Defense Agency Employees Look at Porn