early and awful

Woman Vastly Overestimates Importance of Husband’s Vote

Takes Get Out the Vote effort very seriously. Photo: Gilbert Police Department

President Obama did not win Arizona or its electoral votes last week, and the state therefore did not contribute to his reelection. Despite these widely available facts, a 28-year-old woman from Mesa, Arizona, is under arrest for running down her husband in her SUV because he didn’t vote and now Obama is going to Death Panel all of us just for fun. Remember that quirky Kentucky story, where the City Council candidate really would have won had his wife voted? This is the Arizonafied version of that story, meaning nothing makes any sense and everyone is insane. 

Woman Runs Over Husband for Not Voting