sex diaries

The Brooklyn Woman Hooking Up During Hurricane Sandy

Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Brooklyn Woman Hooking Up During Hurricane Sandy: Female, 29, management consultant, Carroll Gardens, straight-ish, in an open marriage.


1:10 a.m. I wake up in Dom’s bed. We’ve had a D/s relationship for a few months. I don’t remember falling asleep earlier. I really like Dom, he’s smart and funny. And outside of the bedroom he’s so nice to me. But it’s strange — if I was single I don’t think we’d be together. He’s kind of a hermit and I don’t think very social — not something that I would be okay with in a primary partner — but it doesn’t bother me at all in this type of situation. That’s something that I really like about being in an open marriage. It gives me the opportunity to have relationships with people I would never have gotten to know otherwise. 

1:15 a.m. Dom’s at his computer. I ask him come to bed. He says he’s checking his e-mail. I e-mail him asking him to come back. He does. Dom apologizes for his bad mood. He asks if I still like him when he’s grumpy. I say yes. He slaps me in the face. I say, “Yes, Sir.” He slaps me harder; I thrust my hips toward him.

1:25 a.m. Dom is alternating between fingering and slapping me when I blurt out, “Why don’t you ever have sex with me?” We’ve only had penis-in-vagina sex once, and it’s driving me nuts. He says sex with him is a privilege I must beg for. I hate begging and it’s not happening tonight. He fingers me and I come twice, asking permission each time. Then I give Dom head.

8:15 a.m. I wake up to Dom caressing my butt. I kiss him. He takes short breaks from manipulating my clit to put restraints on. First a collar, then wrists. I keep saying I’m close, and asking if I can come for almost an hour. He won’t let me. I feel dizzy and faint.

9:12 a.m. I ask to come. Dom finally says yes. I’m whimpering as he puts me on my knees, hooked to the chain hanging from the ceiling. He’s going to cane me five times, ten if I make noise. He hits, it hurts, but I know there won’t be marks. I don’t make a peep but wish I had. I want more pain. After, I tell Dom he doesn’t have to hold back as much when he’s caning me.

10:11 a.m. I call Husband, who’d had a lady stay over. She’s gone but he’s playing video games so I decide to have brunch with Dom. It’s so weird to talk to Husband about these things with him comfortably. When we first opened up our relationship last year it was really hard for him to even know that I was with someone else, sleepovers weren’t allowed, and he would never have suggested I spend more time with someone. We’ve both quickly gotten over the jealousy issues as it’s become clear that we aren’t going to leave one another. 

11:45 a.m. I’m ready, waiting for Dom, and make a snarky comment about how he’s always late. He drags me into the bedroom and canes me. Hard. This will leave marks.

3:45 p.m. I’m home and feeling down. This happens sometimes after seeing Dom. The hour of orgasm denial this morning was intense. I masturbate and then nap.

7:30 p.m. I wake up not feeling better. I e-mail Dom telling him that I’m emotionally hungover from the morning. His response is very sweet. I feel weird telling Dom something that I didn’t tell Husband. I tell Husband how I’m feeling. He doesn’t always get the kink stuff, but he hugs me and asks if I’m hungry.

11:45 p.m. Husband and I get home from a party. We have sleepy sex and pass out.


10:47 a.m. The subway is shutting down and I’m annoyed. I’m supposed to see Hot Grad Student (HGS). HSG is an extremely kinky, but square-looking guy, who I’d been talking to on OkCupid for a bit and met for the first time last week. On our first date we talked about what we are both into: humiliation, shame, mental control, and moderate pain. He’s actually a switch, and started out in the BDSM world as a submissive before realizing that he was also turned on by taking on the dominant role. HGS and I reschedule for 1:30; I’m so glad it’s still happening today. Husband tells me to get on the subway by 5:30 so I don’t get stranded.

11:30 a.m. Husband and I go to stock up for the storm. The lines are ridiculous and I hope I have time to shower before seeing HGS.

1:38 p.m. I meet HGS for a glass of wine at Cafe Maxx.

2:30 p.m. At HGS’s place, he grabs me by the neck and pushes me against a wall. He kisses me hard then strips me. He pulls out a collar, leash, and cuffs from the kitchen drawer. He put it all on and says, “knees.” I immediately fall to the floor and crawl after him to the bedroom. I see his very nice penis is out. He tells me to suck it. HGS leads me to a bar attached to his bathroom door. I’m still tied to the bar when he takes me from behind. I watch us in the mirror and come twice.

3:28 p.m. HGS brings me to his bed and orders me to ride his face. He gets a condom and turns me over, holding my face in a pillow. He collapses on top of me after coming.

5:15 p.m. I’m leaving HGS’s and the streets are deserted. It’s windy and cold. I’m starving; I walk twenty blocks to find an open bakery, then rush to get home before the subway stops running.

6:48 p.m. Husband says that he had great sex this afternoon. We high five, congratulate each other on getting laid, and crack open some bourbon.

8:15 p.m. Half the bourbon is gone. I tell Husband to go down on me. We’ve been together forever and he knows exactly what gets me off.

8:55 p.m. After more bourbon I kneel between Husband’s legs. Eventually he wants sex. I bend over the side of the couch and have two orgasms. Husband decides to try anal. We both want it but I’m nervous because he’s well hung. We try, but it hurts too much. Instead, he comes on my breasts.


8:35 a.m. It’s incredibly windy outside. I look at the news and realize we should evacuate. I text a friend. She says we can come over whenever. We head out with food, water, and booze.

2:15 p.m. Our friend is napping so I ask Husband to do me quickly. He’s not in the mood but I know I can change his mind. I pull down his pants; he’s hard quickly. I ride him until I come, then blow him. We’re done in seven minutes.

6:30 p.m. I have messages from an assortment of dudes making sure I’ve evacuated. There’s a text from Baldy, who I see occasionally for spanking, name calling, and general rough treatment. We might get together soon. I e-mail Dom and ask if he’s okay.

9:31 p.m. After the worst of the storm, Husband and I go check out the damage. We hold hands. It’s romantic in an end times kind of way.

10:43 p.m. Husband, the friend, and I go for drinks. When we get back Husband falls asleep spooning me and I drunkenly stalk OkCupid, my primary avenue for dating. One of the rules Husband and I have is that we aren’t allowed to date people who we would hypothetically have to encounter again if things went bad, so no friends, no friends of friends, no co-workers. Occasionally I’ll flirt with someone in the real world but broaching the open marriage subject is tricky. It’s easier just to go online. I’ve been really liking hooking up with younger guys recently, because they aren’t ever looking for something serious from me or the other people they date. So I was looking for tall, skinny guys under 25 who live near me who seemed kinky, funny, and well spoken. 

10:50 p.m. I check out the OkCupid profile of a young guy I was hooking up with until last month. We had insane chemistry, he made me squirt for the first time, but was flaky. I deleted all his contact info, but in my altered state I hope visiting his OkCupid profile will inspire him to call.


7:31 a.m. I wake up Husband and check pictures of our block, which flooded the night before, on Twitter. It seems safe to go home.

10:15 a.m. I head to a coffee shop to get work done, but it’s overrun with people excited to have the day off. I can’t focus and text Baldy to see if he wants to do something later in the week. He’ll try.

5 p.m. I get home and want have sex with Husband, but we have to go meet friends for post-hurricane drinks.

7:32 p.m. Dom texts to see how I’m doing. We make plans for Friday.

9:47 p.m. I’m very drunk. Husband and I say good-bye to friends and then get into a stupid fight. Husband storms off and I head for another bar.

10:03 p.m. I flirt with two guys and explain the open marriage thing. They invite me to their place. I want to go, but don’t hook up with anyone when fighting with Husband. I give the cuter one my number and leave. He texts immediately.

10:52 p.m. Husband and I talk. He forgot he was mad, and I decide not to be upset he stormed off. We cuddle.


7:32 a.m. I’m hungover. Husband’s asleep. It’s our ten-year anniversary. I wake him up with a kiss and tell him I love him.

2:35 p.m. I masturbate to erotica and send the link to Dom.

6:45 p.m. Husband and I go to dinner at our favorite place and toast to another ten years.

10:32 p.m. We’re full and exhausted. Neither of us is horny so we pass out watching TV.


11:04 a.m. I text Sexy Neighbor to ask how he did in the storm. We used to hook up semi-regularly, but it’s been months. He’s busy and my attempts at getting him to sleep with me again aren’t working. I want to hang out, but resist the urge to ask. I cross my fingers that he’ll bring it up. He doesn’t. I don’t know if anything ever will ever happen with us again; I’m sadly not hopeful.

12:05 p.m. Writer, who I see very occasionally and is always fun, texts that he’s working from home today and wants to come over. I say sure; I also want to line myself up something to do tonight because Husband’s sleeping out. I’d planned dinner with friends but with the subway down it’s not happening.

2:30 p.m. I message with a new guy, OkCupid Date 1 (OD1), we plan to meet at 8. I’m not enthused, but none of my local hookups are free. I checked.

3:04 p.m. Writer arrives. He kisses me hello and takes off my clothes. I kneel on the ground sucking him off. I’m, unfortunately, in possession of a gag reflex. We move to the couch. He straddles my neck and reaches back to touch me while jerking off. He comes on my face. I orgasm as he does.

4:15 p.m. I get a message from OkCupid Date 2 (OD2) who I’ve been trying to meet up with. I’m more excited about him than OD1. He wants to hang out tonight. I tell him if my date with OD1 is bad I’ll text.

4:37 p.m. Writer shows me a picture of a cute girl he used to hook up with. I’m inspired to blow him again. He fingers me, but I don’t come.

7:55 p.m. I go meet OD1, but I know immediately it won’t work.

8:20 p.m. I text OD2 to meet me at 9:30. I extract myself from my first date and wait at the bar.

9:45 p.m. OD2 shows up. He’s cute-ish and I’m drunk.

11:45 p.m. I invite OD2 home. We make out, then move into my bedroom. I nudge him down to eat me out. Then we have sex and I come again.


7 a.m. Wake up and remember OD2 is in my bed. He spoons me and lightly kisses my back. I can feel his erection. I fall back asleep.

7:45 a.m. I’m up for real. OD2 and I have sex. It’s pleasant, but no fireworks. He’s too gentle. I come twice while he goes down on me, but not during sex. While he’s on top I think about the fact that Dom hasn’t confirmed for tonight.

8:35 a.m. OD2 leaves. He was nice and the sex was fine, but I won’t see him again. I text Dom and ask if we’re on.

9:03 a.m. I Gchat Husband to ask how his night was. It was just sex and sleep. I tell him about my day. He thinks I’m ridiculous.

1:32 p.m. I still haven’t heard from Dom so I call him. He’s been driving around trying to find gas and everywhere is out, but says he can come to collect me at 9. I’m excited. I tell Husband I’m sleeping at Dom’s. We discuss his options for ladies to have over.

3:15 p.m. Dom calls to cancel. He has too much to do and getting me on time will be difficult. He knows how it annoys me when he keeps me waiting. My heart sinks, I badly wanted to see him, but we reschedule.

3:21 p.m. I tell Husband I won’t be at Dom’s after all. Luckily he didn’t invite anyone over. I’m annoyed about not seeing Dom so I text Baldy and ask him to come throw me around the bedroom. He’s busy with schoolwork.

7:36 p.m. I cruise OkCupid and FetLife waiting for Husband to get home.

10:32 p.m. Baldy texts, asking if I want to hang out tomorrow. He wants to come to my place, but Husband will be home, so I can’t. I decide to go there in the afternoon.

11:16 p.m. Husband asks if I want to fool around. I’m not super-horny but I see his huge erection through his jeans, so I figure why not. We take our pants off and I straddle him. It hurts going in because there wasn’t foreplay, but I’m wet soon enough, and come that way. Then I get on all fours and we start over. I’m close to coming when he stops. He came about fifteen seconds before I was ready. Husband brings me to orgasm.

Totals: 20 orgasms experienced; 10 orgasms given to 5 partners; 2 canings; 1 flogging; 2 thwarted attempts at anal sex; 1 incident of Internet stalking.

Hurricane Sandy Sex Diary