Hipster Breakup Dude Wrote a Song About Me

Yesterday, I mocked the “unbearably twee” breakup video released by hipster couple Ivory King and Jonathan Mann, the latter of whom produces and releases a new song every single day. Imagine my surprise this evening when I discovered that Mann’s latest song is about … me.

In the song, I’m referred to as “an Internet hate machine” and a “robot made of stone” who blogs in the spread-eagle position in his underwear. (Two of these things are true.) He also points out that I have glasses and a beard and live in Brooklyn and work as a blogger, so I might be a hipster myself — a solid retort. Mann managed to Twitter-stalk me, write these scathing lyrics, and combine them with some genuinely catchy music in just one day, which is incredibly impressive. It’s probably the best song I’ve ever heard.

I do have one bone to pick, however. Mann seems to think I was just “trolling” when I hated on his weird breakup video yesterday. That’s not really fair — I sincerely and truly dislike that video. (See Farhad Manjoo on how we’ve defined trolling accusations down to basically “you said something I don’t like.”)

But ultimately, Mann’s message to me is that I should “just, you know, be nicer” and not be “so quick to judge.” And even though he expressed that message through comically exaggerated mouth movements, he’s right. Sorry, Jonathan. I didn’t mean to ruin your breakup.