People Terrified by Giant Squid Have Hedge-Fund Manager Ray Dalio to Thank

Dalio and a much smaller, still horrifying squid. Photo: Anja Niedringhaus/AP/Corbis, Elmer Frederick Fischer/Corbis

Ray Dalio, the eccentric billionaire behind hedge-fund juggernaut Bridgewater Associates, has many talents: trading currencies and sovereign bonds, distributing baseball cards featuring his employees’ assets and weaknesses, writing long manifestos about radical transparency.

Now Dalio has conquered yet another asset class: terrifying giant squids that live 2,000 feet beneath the sea.

CNBC reports that Dalio owns the yacht and submarine that researchers used to discover the giant squid, which is starring in an upcoming Discovery Channel documentary and, according to ABC News, is “nearly as long as a school bus.” Dalio, while not actually onboard the submarine when it dove into the depths of the Pacific Ocean to get footage of the squid, bought the yacht and submarine and donated it to “scientific research” several years ago, according to CNBC. On one of its voyages, that sub caught a glimpse of this … thing.

There’s a Goldman Sachs joke in here somewhere, but honestly I’m too scared to think of it. Thanks a lot, Ray, for bringing this spawn of hell to our collective attention.

Giant Squid Is Ray Dalio’s Fault