early and awkward

Could a Million Scott Brown Thighs and a Million iPhones Reproduce the Works of Shakespeare?

U.S. Republican Senate-elect Scott Brown from Massachusetts addresses the media January 20, 2010 at the Park Plaza Hotel in Boston, Massachusetts. Brown, a republican state senator, beat Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley in a special election to fill the seat of late Senator Edward M. Kennedy. (Photo by Darren McCollester/Getty Images)
Bqhatevwr. Photo: Darren McCollester/Getty Images

When Scott Brown tweeted a string of sassy “whatevers” (and one “bqhatevwr”) to his critics last month, many assumed that he’d been drunk-tweeting — a bad idea for most people, but a terrible idea for a politician. But in a new interview with his local Fox station, Brown claims he had simply pocket-tweeted those things, accidentally, like we all apparently do from time to time:

Ayla was teaching me how to get on Facebook and Twitter,” he said, referring to his eldest daughter. “There are some areas that I didn’t really didn’t understand. It was after her concert, we were here right in the living room. I responded to a couple of people. Then I put it in my pocket. The next thing, I wake up and it trended worldwide.” ….

“First of all, I rarely drink. The last time I was ever drunk was at my bachelor party and that was what? — 28 years ago, 27 years ago. So I guess no one has ever pocket dialed or pocket tweeted before.”

Yeah … this is a lie. Let’s look at the tweets in question.

Photo: @ScottBrownMA

Even assuming that pocket-tweeting is something that actually exists, presumably the result would look something like “pqwsaq” or “ffffffffffffffffffffffffg,” right? We’re not sure how the random movements of Brown’s upper thigh could tweet out whole words, corrections to misspelled words, and the nearly grammatically correct sentence “Your brilliant Matt.” That would be like setting up a million monkeys with a million typewriters and getting Macbeth in four minutes. 

Scott Brown: ‘Bqhatevwr’ Was a Pocket Tweet