We mourned last year when software millionaire and heartless grinch Dan Gieschen announced plans to rip out the one-of-a-kind indoor slide connecting the conjoined East Village apartments he had recently purchased. But it’s okay! It turns out a way more badass slide exists in an altogether crazy-looking four-story penthouse at 150 Nassau Street. It’s 80 feet of stainless steel and winds through all four floors, and we don’t know much about the couple who commissioned it (this Bloomberg News video alludes to at least one of them being some kind of math nerd), but they are American heroes. Slide People, if you are reading this, New York would love to examine your slide, for journalism.