sex diaries

The Woman Falling in Love With a Guy Who Isn’t Her Fiancé

Once a week, Daily Intelligencer takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Woman Falling in Love With a Guy Who Isn’t Her Fiancé: Female, 22, recently graduated student, rural Iowa, bisexual, engaged, in an open relationship.


11 a.m. I wake up next to my fiancé. After five years together (we got engaged two years ago), sleeping with him is second nature. Awful night of sleep, but it’s nice to wake up next to someone you care about.

12:30 p.m. Being a sweet guy, the fiancé runs out to get me a morning Starbucks treat. Doing things like this makes me remember why I love him all over again. After his nice gesture, I press myself against him and slide my hands under his shirt. It leads to an hour of mutual masturbation while we exchange naughty, arousing ideas about things we want to do. Orgasms had by all.

2 p.m. Capricorn IMs me. He’s an amazing guy I’ve been seeing for the last three months. Easily the most serious relationship I’ve had since the fiancé. We set up a time to meet later that night. My fiancé and I have an open relationship, but don’t have any specific rules regarding dating outside people. There’s never been anything serious enough to require rules up until this point. Past out-of-relationship experiences have been flings only.

6:15 p.m. My fiancé seems a bit hesitant about my plans for the night. I curl up with him on the couch, and we talk about how important our relationship is, and how my relationships with others are unique from what we have. After I’m sure he’s feeling better and he’s okay, I head out the door, a bit early, to the Capricorn’s place.

6:45 p.m. Yep. Early. Knock on his door. No answer. It’s frigid out, and I pace back and forth. Send a text message, too. Slightly annoyed.

6:55 p.m. The Capricorn answers the door dripping wet and wearing only a towel. I get briefly chewed out about showing up early. I resist pointing out the idea that he should just be ready earlier.

7:05 p.m. We curl up on his bed. We spend the next two hours talking, but I find myself with a pleasant level of arousal that keeps making me say stupid things that don’t even make sense in context. Luckily, I don’t think he notices too much.

9:20 p.m. After I return from a bathroom break, the Capricorn reaches over and turns off his bedside lamp, leaving only two candles for lighting. The flickering of the candle lighting makes everything seem even hotter. I’ve never been one for the “seduction” part of sex, but it seems to be working. Surprisingly well. He gets on top of me and we start having sex, and the entire thing has me buzzing in happy arousal. As I curl up happily next to him, we talk about the silly after-orgasm things people tend to talk about.

9:50 p.m. During a lull in the conversation, I slip my hand along the bare skin of his back, and we’re both aroused all over again. His lips are all over, and I tease him by slipping a hand between my legs. Everything he does turns me on even more, and I stop before I orgasm; I want him instead. This time, I get a condom, get on top, and ride him until he comes. The girl-on-top position makes it hard for me to come, and I don’t this time.

11:30 p.m. I’m still really turned on, but he’s (understandably) tired. We even try sex again, in a new position, but I think I’ve just been turned on for too long for it to work. He asks me to make myself come, and I do. Four hours of arousal leads to a pretty explosive, and frustratingly difficult, orgasm. So insanely sleepy afterwards.

1 a.m. We lay around and talk about fond memories from when we were younger. The entire thing makes me smile, and I don’t want to leave. If the fiancé weren’t home, I’d fall asleep here. But I get up and get dressed.

1:35 a.m. When I get home, the fiancé is crabby because he’s tired and wants to go to sleep. He falls asleep within seconds of curling into the blankets against me.


7 a.m. Up early for work. While getting dressed, I see the fiancé still curled up warmly, in bed, and I smile. It just makes me remember how much I love him in the first place.

10 a.m. Doing mindless household tasks. I end up thinking about sex on my kitchen counters with the Capricorn.

3:30 p.m. My fiancé and I head out to dinner at a local restaurant. Our conversation mostly consists of our plans to move to a new place in the next six months.

4:40 p.m. Severe snowstorm is coming in. We both decide that the fiancé should leave a couple of days early to commute two hours away back to his workplace. We probably won’t see each other again for another two weeks. I help him pack, and I give him a kiss before he leaves. 


11 a.m. I wake up and head straight into our local women’s health clinic. My STI panel results are all in, and I ask for a print-out. I sit and wait for over an hour while they print out four pieces of paper. Negative on everything, though. That’s good.

3 p.m. While trying to get work done, I get sidetracked by the idea of taking the Capricorn and straddling him on the couch. I get too distracted from work to get anything done. Half an hour later, I’m sleepy after my orgasm. 


4 p.m. After waiting all day for him to text me while I was at work, I decide that’s totally pathetic, and I text the Capricorn. We make plans to hang out that night. Around “6-ish.”

5:30 p.m. Officially decide I hate “six-ish.” Does that mean 5:45? Or 6:15? I decide to be ready early since he won’t let me live it down if I’m not dressed after how I treated him a couple days ago.

6:05 p.m. He’s here. I guess that’s what “six-ish” means. We spend an hour cuddled up on the couch just talking about what’s happened since we last saw each other.

7:10 p.m. He needs to get some work done on his laptop. We separate, and we both spend some time on separate work projects. This can’t be a casual-sex relationship, right? Casual sex partners don’t come over just to spend time being “socially-antisocial” together accomplishing work.

8:05 p.m. Fiancé calls. He’s looked at the place we’re considering renting. He’s not sure we’ll like it. I tell him we’ll tour it anyway in case things have changed by next week.

11 p.m. I give up on getting any work done, and I curl up next to Capricorn while he finishes up his. After he finishes his, we spend a bit cuddling, and then we move our tired selves to the bedroom.

1:30 a.m. His face ends up in my cleavage as we wake up. He mentions how turned on he is, but he has to be up in the morning, so there’s no time. I feel very frustrated by that, and I tell him. He lazily starts to trace his fingernails on my back, which is arousing. After dealing with it for twenty minutes, I tell him that he’s being cruel, and I climb on top of him. For once, I’m enjoying being on display as he watches. With his encouragement, I touch myself as I grind my clothed hips against his. Though he’s never done anything like it before, he starts telling me how hot I look and how turned on he is. His words really get to me, and it’s not long before I orgasm. This is one of the easiest orgasms I’ve had in his presence, and my grinding against him causes him to orgasm at the same time. (I love how easily he can orgasm. And I’m jealous of it, too.) Afterwards, he confesses he wanted to see how long he could tease me until I took charge.

3 a.m. We both curl up in the blankets and pass out.


9 a.m. Within ten minutes of waking up, he’s out the door.

5 p.m. After working all day, I’m ready to do something fun. I invite the Capricorn out on a walk at the local park. He declines, saying he’s busy.

6:40 p.m. Within ten minutes of walking back into my apartment, he texts me asking if I want some doughnuts. So much for his busy schedule. We hit up the local doughnut shop. He takes me back to his workplace, and I get the chance to see his office and get a mini-tour. When he drops me off, we make plans for tomorrow.


8 a.m. Wake up from a pretty erotic dream about the Capricorn. Decide it’s probably a good thing that we’re going to be together tonight.

4:45 p.m. I hop in the shower for tonight’s date. I take the time to shave my legs while contemplating if I want to wear a dress. Hard decision.

6 p.m. I decide on jeans and new shirt as I answer the door and let him in. I tell him I was split between jeans and skirt, and he seems disappointed that I didn’t choose the skirt. I decide to change into a skirt before we go out. This causes an argument because he says it’s stupid to change. We’re both in a sour mood when we leave.

7:30 p.m. When we get back, we’re in a better mood. We settle in to watch episodes of Game of Thrones we’ve been watching on DVD. I love being so close to him in a non-sexual setting, and the cuddling helps me relax.

12:30 a.m. We decide four episodes is enough, and we head to the bedroom. I end up laying face-down on the bed. He gets on top of me and grinds against me. I tell him that this position really turns me on. He slips his hand into my underwear, and as I get close to orgasm, I get a craving to have him inside me. We end up having sex, and afterwards, I’m too mentally exhausted to try and orgasm even though he encourages me.

2:30 a.m. We curl up together. Sleep.


11 a.m. Shower time.

1 p.m. I regularly make donations to the women’s shelter downtown. This afternoon, I take in some laundry detergent and food.

3 p.m. As we lay on the couch, I try to non-verbally show him that I’m turned on and want to have sex with some light touching and pressing up against him. He seems much more interested in watching the show we agreed to watch earlier, though, so I frustratingly give up.

3:30 p.m. He quickly notices my frustration and refuses to watch any more of the show until I feel better. He pulls me into the bedroom. In a first for me, I allow him to lube up his fingers and try something anally. Between the lube and the glove, his fingers feel weird, but it’s not painful. It feels unique in a weird way, but it doesn’t turn me on. I file it under “something to try again later.” After that, we have sex, with simultaneous orgasms. Happy and content, we both go back to watching the show that we left paused.

6:30 p.m. We finish up the second season of the show. We’re hungry, and we go out to eat at a local breakfast place.

7:40 p.m. During dinner, we agree to go downtown and scope out some of the local shops. We end up making out in the entryway of a closed store.

9 p.m. After the chilly night air, we come back to my place and get in bed for warmth.

11:30 p.m. With him next to me, I decide to tell him what’s been on my mind for the past two weeks. After stalling because I’m afraid of his reaction, I tell him that I love him. The Capricorn seems very happy by my admission and tells me I was silly for being worried. I don’t have plans, as of yet, to tell my fiancé that I love the Capricorn. It’s confusing, and I’m trying to work out the feelings on my own before I tell my fiancé about most of it to avoid hurting him unnecessarily. 

Midnight He rolls on top of me and kisses me in a passionate way that makes me feel warm inside. I think it relaxes him too because it isn’t long until he’s fallen asleep. I curl up next to him and fall asleep.

TOTALS: 5 orgasms of varying ease; 1 new anal experience; 4 acts of intercourse.

The Woman Falling for a Guy Who Isn’t Her Fiancé