North Korea may be threatening to launch a preemptive nuclear strike on the United States, but former Daily Show correspondent Wyatt Cenac has come up with a simple, fool-proof defense plan. Pay attention, Pentagon.
“The smartest thing would be for the president to disperse the ’92-’93 Chicago Bulls in a couple of our major cities,” Cenac told Daily Intelligencer last night at the Comedy Bar finale party for Adult Swim’s Delocated. “Put Jordan in D.C., Pippen in New York, B.J. Armstrong in Los Angeles, Horace Grant in Austin, Luc Longley, Craig Hodges — I can keep going. I can name more of these guys.” [Editor’s note: Longley and Hodges didn’t play for the ‘92–‘93 Bulls, but same idea.]
“You let it be known,” Cenac continued. “If your intention is to blow up Manhattan, are you okay having Scottie Pippen’s blood on your hands, Kim Jong Un?”