On-and-off Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi was found guilty of paying for sex with a 17-year-old and covering it up, for which he’s been sentenced to seven years in prison and barred from holding public office again. However: “Mr. Berlusconi, 76, has the right to appeal the sentence twice, which could take years to decide. Even if the conviction is upheld, he is unlikely to go to jail because Italian law allows house arrest for those over the age of 70.” Just like the last time he was convicted of a crime. And the time before that. Berlusconi, who was not in court today to hear the verdict, denies having sex with the Moroccan girl in question, Karima El Mahroug, a.k.a. Ruby Heart Stealer, who he claims told him she was related to Egypt’s then-president Hosni Mubarak. It’s complicated.