imagined conversations

George Zimmerman’s Defense Attorney Kicks Off Opening Statement With a Knock-Knock Joke

Conference room, yesterday afternoon:

Zimmerman defense attorney Mark O’Mara: Look, Don, I know how much you love knock-knock jokes. But are you sure the opening statement of a murder trial is an appropriate setting for one?

Zimmerman defense attorney Don West: If there is one place where a knock-knock joke is most appropriate, it’s a murder trial. 

O’Mara: Listen, Don, let’s—

West: Knock-knock.

O’Mara: No, come on, Don, not now.

West: Knock-knock.

O’Mara: [Sighs.] Who’s there?

West: Mark.

O’Mara: Mark who?

West: Mark who should just shut his stupid face because he doesn’t know the first thing about being a trial lawyer, or knock-knock jokes, and should just go order the Chinese food like he said he was going to do half an hour ago and should not forget to ask for brown rice instead of white rice, like he did last time. 

O’Mara: Okay, Don. That’s not even a joke — that’s just a string of insults.

West: Knock-knock.

Zimmerman Lawyer Tells Knock-Knock Joke at Trial