the national interest

Life in Ohio, a Continuing Series

By , who’s been a New York political columnist since 2011.  He writes the newsletter &c.
WATERTOWN, MA - APRIL 19: SWAT team members aim their guns as they search for one remaining suspect at an apartment building on April 19, 2013 in Watertown, Massachusetts. Earlier, a Massachusetts Institute of Technology campus police officer was shot and killed at the school's campus in Cambridge. A short time later, police reported exchanging gunfire with alleged carjackers in Watertown, a city near Cambridge. According to reports, one suspect has been killed during a car chase and the police are seeking another - believed to be the same person (known as Suspect Two) wanted in connection with the deadly bombing at the Boston Marathon earlier this week. Police have confirmed that the dead assailant is Suspect One from the recently released marathon bombing photographs. (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)
The war against carjacking aliens has begun. Photo: Mario Tama/2013 Getty Images

Shocking news:

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The Tuscarawas County Sheriff’s Office responded to a call early Tuesday morning from an Ohio man who claimed that aliens had stolen his car.

Deputy Rick Morrison told the Times Reporter that the 28-year-old man contacted the sheriff’s office at 1:36 a.m. saying that he had experienced car trouble shortly after “subjects not of this world” ordered him to drive to an abandon field.

I don’t understand why, if the aliens have the technological wherewithal to master interplanetary travel, they would need to steal a car. That’s really the only hole in the story here.

I don’t understand why, if the aliens have the technological wherewithal to master interplanetary travel, they would need to steal a car. That’s really the only hole in the story here.

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Life in Ohio, a Continuing Series