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A Gold iPhone Is (Probably) Coming Soon

Sixty years of technological advances have culminated in this.

In case the notion of an army of Chinese factory workers toiling day and night to build a pocket-size minicomputer for your rich American ass doesn’t fill you with enough privilege-guilt, good news: Apple is now planning to release an iPhone made of solid gold.

That’s a lie, actually. In fact, the rumored “golden iPhone,” if it materializes, will merely be gold-colored.

According to MG Siegler, who has heard rumors from well-placed sources about the device, Apple is planning to make a “Champagne” finish available for its upcoming iPhone 5S, in part because gold is popular in India and China, two markets where it hopes to gain an edge over the competition.

So maybe it’s not just a status symbol for obnoxious New Yorkers. Still, you’d do best to avoid it. Among other reasons, carrying a golden iPhone is basically like putting a “Mug Me!” sign around your neck.