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Government Shutdown Has D.C. Looking for Casual Sex on Craigslist

While the federal government braces itself to basically stop working, the men of Washington, D.C., see an opening. Whether it’s topical humor or practical planning, the message is the same: Republicans should not be the only ones doing the screwing. Wanting to “complain about Ted Cruz” as foreplay, however, might be a red flag.

For the nonpartisan adventurous women, there’s the guy hoping you “love to smile.” He’ll be in town for meetings: “While i hope the shutdown will not ruin my plans, I was looking to find a local sexy woman or a fellow traveler.”

Or this stud, in search of “a nice distraction to kiss the worries away.” Good luck, America.

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