The New York Post found not one but two public restroom advocacy groups to condemn Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s record on installing pay toilets, which really is abysmal. Since the city announced a deal in 2005 to install twenty coin-operated public restrooms, only three have so far been built, the paper reports. Activists with the POOP Project and a Portland, Oregon-based group called PHLUSH, both said the mayor had fallen well short on providing a public service. While it’s tempting to chuckle at such earnest toilet talk, the joke wears thin when you actually do face an emergency in Midtown. So until the city gets the seventeen other toilets built, which will surely satisfy the needs of all 8.3 million New Yorkers, we’ll have to rely on memory, luck, and a handful of imperfect toilet-finding apps. Where’s George Costanza when you need him?