early and awkard

Man on Acela Train Live-Tweets Private Conversations of Former NSA Chief Michael Hayden

As the former chief of the NSA, Michael Hayden was in the business of stealing secrets. You would think, then, that he’d be somewhat skilled at keeping them. Well, he’s not. He’s the worst. 

Michael Hayden is, at this moment, on an Acela train sitting behind Tom Matzzie, a “clean energy entrepreneur.” And just minutes ago, Tom Matzzie was live-tweeting the series of confidential conversations Hayden was having with reporters, apparently about the NSA and members of the Obama administration. Because what’s more private than a train full of New York and D.C. elites?

After the conversations had finished up, Hayden’s office apparently called and told him what had happened. Instead of instantly droning Matzzie for his insolence, which is a dronable offense now, Hayden introduced himself to Matzzie, chatted him up, and took a photo. 

Hayden’s surprisingly nonlethal reaction notwithstanding, Mattzie is now in the “Shit, I screwed over the former NSA chief” stage of processing what just transpired. 

Anyway, congrats to Matzzie for having some pretty enormous balls. Good luck and try to live-tweet from the Eastern European black site if you can.

Man Live-Tweets NSA Chief’s Private Conversation