early and awkward

Ted Cruz Was a Smelly, Terrible Roommate

 U.S Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) leaves the Capitol after he spoke on the Senate floor for more than 21 hours September 25, 2013 on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC. Sen. Cruz ended his marathon speech against the Obamacare at noon on Wednesday.
Photo: Alex Wong/Getty Images2013 Getty Images

Proud, pretentious American destroyer Ted Cruz has always been a bit difficult. Since elbowing his way into the national consciousness, the Texas Republican has been outed as a hater of “minor Ivies” like Penn and Brown, and is said to have come to Princeton as a 17-year-old with a book titled Was Karl Marx a Satanist? “I would end up fielding the [girls’] complaints: ‘Could you please keep your roommate out of our hallway?’” his undergrad roommate at Princeton Craig Mazin told the Daily Beast over the summer. (“I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone,” Mazin added. “I would rather pick somebody from the phone book.”)

Today, Mazin — who just so happens to be the screenwriter behind Scary Movie 3, Scary Movie 4, and The Hangover III — took to Twitter to share more stories about his fateful time in a crappy room with Cruz. It’s about what you’d expect, but funnier.

Via memory lane, allegedly:

Ted Cruz Was a Smelly, Terrible Roommate