Festivus Poles Forced Upon State Capitols in Florida, Wisconsin

The newfangled Festivus pole (left) will be installed in the Tallahassee capitol building this week, and the traditional-style pole (right) is already on display in Madison’s statehouse. Photo: Chaz Stevens/MAOS; stowydad/Twitter

The annual holiday displays of state and local governments have become one of the main battlegrounds between Christmas crusaders like Sarah Palin and whiny losers who refuse to accept the divinity of Jesus out of pure stubbornness. But instead of fighting (likely unsuccessfully) to keep their displays Christmas-only, many localities have acceded to letting non-Christians promote whatever weird shit they believe in. In at least two states this year, that means Festivus poles, the non-religious holiday accessory made famous by Frank Costanza in a 1997 episode of Seinfeld. 

The original Fesitvus pole: tall, aluminum, unadorned.

The capitol rotunda in Madison, Wisconsin, sports a traditional (although much shorter than the original) pole, along with a promise of a December 23 airing of grievances and an apology that feats of strength will not take place “due to liability issues.”

Meanwhile, the six-foot-tall Festivus pole being installed in Florida’s state capitol in Tallahassee will — for reasons of extra-atheist provocativeness, presumably — be made from empty Pabst beer cans

Florida, Wisconsin Capitals Celebrate Festivus