imagined conversations

Super Bowl Forces Bill de Blasio to Hang Out With Chris Christie

Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images

I’ll be with Mayor de Blasio tonight. We’ll have fun together — it’s great,” said New Jersey Governor Chris Christie yesterday, eager to get back to being a bipartisan icon instead of a tanking bully. “I love Gov. Cuomo, we’re good friends,” he added. Later that night, at a Super Bowl launch party in Jersey City, Mayor De Blasio reportedly “put his arm around the rotund governor,” but not (we imagine) without cringing.

Christie: Bill!

De Blasio: Hold that thought. [yells over Christie’s head] Pete, great to see you!

Christie: Get in here, big guy. A hug is most definitely in order.

De Blasio: That’s a great tie. Do you like ties? I love ties.

Christie: No, seriously — I give great bipartisan hugs.

De Blasio: Wait, please, don’t get too close. I’ve had this horrible cough — Chirlane and the kids, too. Just awful.

Christie: Hug me, Goddamn it.

De Blasio: Is that Richard Sherman over there? I think I see Richard Sherman. You’ll have to excuse me.

(De Blasio’s social-media accounts remain deafeningly quiet.)

De Blasio Forced to Hang Out With Christie