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CPAC Is for Lovers, or At Least ‘Discreet’ Casual Encounters

Dressed in American revolutionary clothing, William Temple (R) of Brunswick, Georgia visits with students (L-R) Nicholas Blincoe, Matthew Leahy and Elliot Brietta of Scottsdale, AZ, during the second day of the Conservative Political Action Conference at the Gaylord International Hotel and Conference Center March 7, 2014 in National Harbor, Maryland. The CPAC annual meeting brings together conservative politicians, pundits and their supporters for speeches, panels and classes.
Photo: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

With so much business-casual packed into the Gaylord International Hotel for the annual family values bash CPAC, there’s bound to be a few hookups. But because attendees may be a bit out of touch, apps like Grindr and Tinder, while certainly buzzing, have not completely overtaken good old-fashioned Craigslist.

The Washington, D.C., “Casual Encounters” section, while not quite overflowing, is active as we head into the weekend, and although some (most?) may be jokes — the one seeking “Boys who look like Sally Kohn or Chris Hayes who need to be tied up,” for instance — you never can be sure how speeches from Chris Christie and Donald Trump will affect a person’s libido.

According to one sex blogger, “in years past CPAC has developed a reputation for being one of the biggest gay hook-up destinations this side of the White Party.” Some highlights from this year’s batch include (all links are most likely NSFW):

CPAC - I need a MAN. NOW! - m4m - 36 (CPAC convention) 

Okay.

So. I spend so much time in rural Indiana, CPAC is my only outlet for this sort of thing.

What I’m looking for, you, a masculine Ayn Rand, me, the 47%. And I want you to slap me around hard and give it to me good.

Or…you could bust in my room, catch me trying to enroll in a healthcare market place/state exchange, and the punish me for it. Punish me good.

We can meet at the bar first, if you want. I will be wearing khakis and a navy blue blazer.

Elsewhere, “Big Dad seeks Trim College Bottom CPAC - m4m - 44 (Alexandria Old Town)” and  “College Freshman in Town for CPAC - m4m - 18 (Gaylord)” promises, “Can be very discreet, only here for a few days.”

Even as satirical Republican fan-fiction, the ads are great:

CPAC looking for my Allen West - m4m (CPAC)

Patriots!

What an incredible day today was! Christie and Jindal and some great sessions. I am ready to unwind and have some fun. I am looking to make one of my biggest fantasies come true.

Me: Police Uniform

You: Army Uniform

Liberal heathens are also in the building — for work. “Sorry, conservatives, but I just don’t find you attractive,” writes one woman. “Feel free to email me your thoughts about how my kind is ruining the country and suggestions about how I could get fixed through sex with a republican! I’m sure it will be entertaining.”

CPAC Craigslist Casual Encounters, 2014 Edition