Name: Action Bronson
Age: 30
Neighborhood: Queens
Occupation: Rapper. His new food show, Fuck, That’s Delicious, launched yesterday on Vice’s Munchies. You can also check out his latest “Adventure Time With Action Bronson” video here.
Who’s your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
My mother, Gloria. My mother’s the shit, the illest New Yorker there is. She is New York.
What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in New York?
I have amazing meals every day in the city, but the greatest meal I’ve ever had was at Marea on Central Park. The fusilli with the bone marrow and the octopus were the best part. [Chef] Michael White and I haven’t cooked together yet, but we will soon. He’s my man.
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Performing is part of it, but a lot of it is sitting by the window every day, thinking about how I’m gonna make myself better. Really though, my job is making sure my kids get to school every morning.
What was your first job in New York?
I was 15 and I worked at Key Foods stocking the shelves. The illest thing about that job was being able to go to the deli and have them make you a sandwich and sneak it downstairs and eat it without paying for it. And I had a girlfriend that worked there, which was pretty cool.
What’s the last thing you saw on Broadway?
A fiend doing the Macarena.
Do you give money to panhandlers?
Yeah, all the time. Usually I give to the panhandlers with the cunning signs, something funny. If they want to perform for you, then it’s all good. I like giving money to people who bring something to table.
What’s your drink?
Snapple lemon iced-tea. The original one, with ginger ale. I’m not a liquor drinker.
How often do you prepare your own meals?
I cook for myself all the time. I haven’t done it on tour in a minute because there’s not really a kitchen in the hotel rooms all the time. The last thing I cooked for myself was a medicated pasta. I soaked kush in extra-virgin olive oil, then made a fresh tomato sauce with it.
What’s your favorite medication?
I like a good ibuprofen.
What is the best thing in or about your apartment?
I just moved into a new apartment and I’m pretty stoked on it. My favorite part is definitely the kitchen — it’s a humongous walk-in. The kitchen is like a bedroom.
What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen on the subway?
I’ve seen a family living on the subway pretty much, but my twin cousins have seen crazier. Back in the day on the N train going to Astoria, some guy started whacking off in front of them.
When was the last time you stayed out past 3 a.m.?
Yesterday.
Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
The old Times Square for sure. Because that’s what defined New York! It was scummy, disgusting, hookers all over the place, pimps all over the place, drugs. You were told not to go there and that’s why you wanted to go.
What do you think of Mayor de Blasio?
I gotta be honest with you, I’m not into politics like that. I didn’t even know we had a new mayor. I mean, I knew, but I don’t know what the he stands for. I’m embarrassed that I don’t follow that shit, but I’ve just been in my own world since he’s been elected.
What do you hate most about living in New York?
I’m starting to hate winter getting older. This winter was pretty brutal.
If you could banish one person from New York forever, who would it be?
I wouldn’t banish one person, I would banish all these hipsters coming from Utah and Wyoming living in Williamsburg and all the other fucking schmucks who just come over here and make the rent millions and millions of dollars higher.
When’s the last time you drove a car?
This morning. I’m a known driver. It’s one of my favorite pastimes, just getting in the car and driving around, going different places in New York. That’s how you learn it.
Finish this sentence: The NYPD _____.
… Can suck my balls. No, but there’s a bunch of good ones.
Times, Post, or Daily News?
I’m gonna go with the Times. I like a paper with substance. The Post is almost like a tabloid.
Where do you go to be alone?
It feels sometimes like the only place I’m ever alone is in the goddamn bathroom.
What makes someone a New Yorker?
It depends on your attitude and if you’re a little bitch or not. If you’re a little bitch and you come from somewhere else and try to live in New York, you’re not a New Yorker. But if you come through and you thug it out and you’re a real person, then you can be a New Yorker.
