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Rob Ford Wants Everyone to Know Rehab Is Awesome

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford reacts to a video released of him by local media at City Hall in Toronto, November 7, 2013. Ford admitted on Tuesday he has smoked crack cocaine, probably
Photo: MARK BLINCH/Corbis

With some Toronto lawmakers suspicious that crack-smoking Mayor Rob Ford actually made it to rehab in some top-secret location — “It’s not like he’s at a baseball game in Los Angeles or something,” his lawyer assured everyone — Ford has popped up to say he’s there and it’s “amazing.” In an interview with the Toronto Sun, Ford, who wouldn’t say where he is, delivered a spiel about how rad it is to get help that’s just generic enough to be believable and just insane enough to be from Rob Ford. “Of course, I am coming back,” he promised, perhaps getting ahead of himself, “and I am going to kick butt.”

I feel great,” he added. “Rehab is amazing. It reminds me of football camp. Kind of like the Washington Redskins camp I went to as a kid.”

He’s been recognized, “but there are two doctors here, a captain of industry and a professional athlete,” Ford said. “There are terrific people in my group. We are all supporting each other. We are connecting in a weird way.”

Are you really, wonders a local reporter who’s not convinced? (You know what they say: Fool us once about smoking crack, shame on you; fool us twice, or three, or four times …)

If a video does pop up of Ford at a baseball game in L.A., belting “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” into a souvenir-cup microphone, no one will be shocked.

Rob Ford Wants Everyone to Know Rehab Is Awesome