the revolution will be meow'd

The Feline Uprising Is Upon Us

Cat with open mouth hissing
Photo: Barbara Singer/Getty Images

The feline uprising is upon us, and to be fair, it’s about damn time.

Our cat companions have suffered for too long at the hands of the internet, as we rush to monetize their every move. Have you ever stopped and considered the fact that maybe they don’t want to be internet famous? While we continue to ignore their right to privacy, cats across the nation are rising up against their owners to say: We’re mad as hell, and we’re not gonna take it anymore, and also, meow, please give us more dry food.

Earlier this year, a 20-pound cat in Portland, Oregon, forced a family to call 911 after it trapped them in a bedroom. And now, Gawker reports, another cat is taking hostages. 14-year-old Cuppy, long a loving family pet, finally had enough on Tuesday and forced a San Diego woman and her daughter to take refuge in a bedroom while the cat became a “ball of fury.”

Wouldn’t you be mad, too, if your species was relegated to fodder for sub-par web content?

All hail our new overlord, that cute bodega cat who sleeps on the stack of day-old Posts.