Now We All Can Worry About the Plague for a Week

Move over, Ebola: Bubonic Plague, the original mass killer, is back, having infected more than 100 people in Madagascar since August. About a third of those infected have died, and the bacterial disease has now reached the island nation’s capital city, Antananarivo, where health officials fear its spread may accelerate. But don’t worry, hypochondriacs: There’s still a zero percent chance you’ll catch it, just like with Ebola.

Let’s All Worry About the Plague Now