As one GOP staffer just learned the hard way, it’s never okay to call the president’s teen daughters rude and slutty just because they weren’t sufficiently excited about their dad’s goofy turkey-pardon jokes. But insulting the Obama girls is particularly unfair. One minute of sullen teenage behavior should not erase a lifetime of exemplary First Daughter behavior. As shown below, Malia and Sasha have quite a talent for feigning interest in their White House duties. We think we know who they got it from.
November 29, 2014: Shopping at the Bookstore Politics and Prose
The Obama girls clearly love their annual “Small Business Saturday” shopping excursion. What teen wouldn’t want to be photographed buying books while people act weird around their dad?
November 26, 2014: Bread for the City Food Pantry
Malia graciously informs each person in line that her name is not Sasha, suppressing the urge to snarl “same as it’s been for the past six years, fool.”
June 17, 2013: Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland
“This place is just like Hogwarts!” Sasha exclaims, muttering, “If no one knew magic and all of Voldemort’s Horcruxes were hidden in a microfiche.”
March 21, 2014: China’s Beijing Normal School
Sure, Malia and Sasha have hung out with Beyoncé and One Direction, but it’s way more exciting to meet the lady who’s married to the Chinese … uh, prime minister?
April 1, 2013: White House Easter Egg Roll
The Obama girls actually think the Easter Bunny outfit is pretty creepy — they just don’t want to hurt Mr. Cheney’s feelings.
November 23, 2011: White House Turkey Pardon
“Wow, feels like a turkey. This definitely won’t get old in another three to five years!”
July 17, 2011: Watching the World Cup in the White House Residence
Sasha and Malia usually only watch NASCAR and UFC fights, but they were told there would be nachos.
June 21, 2011: Emthonjeni Community Center in Zandspruit Township, South Africa
Like all insolent teens, Sasha and Malia get a kick out of reading Dr. Seuss to underprivileged children with their mom.
April 29, 2011: Kennedy Space Center
Sasha definitely wants to learn more about the only part of the space shuttle that’s attached to every car.
August 25, 2008: Democratic National Convention in Denver, Colorado
There’s no faking here. What happened in the last six years that made these adorable little girls less interested in corny dad jokes?
March 6, 2004: Obama Campaign Rally at Community Fellowship Baptist Church
Malia dutifully waves one of her dad’s signs as he campaigns for the Senate. Sasha realizes this will only lead to a lifetime of unreasonable expectations and media scrutiny. Tragically, she lacks the vocabulary to convey this to her sister.