Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays, we lay out a challenge and offer a sample responses. Enter in the comments section, or on Twitter with the hashtag we’ve provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year’s subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner’s choice). Full rules are here.
COMPETITION NO. 40: UNEXPECTED GOP CANDIDATES. Please suggest the newest person to join the growing 2016 GOP field, and supply a platform plank or slogan. For example:
WALTER WHITE: “The small-business expert.”
ADAM SAVAGE & JAMIE HYNEMAN: “We can’t wait to blow up a whole country!”
BILL BELICHICK: “I’ll keep inflation down.”
Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #unexpectedGOPcandidates, or in the comments thread below, by February 4.
RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 39, “NOW IN CUBA!” in which you were asked to describe a company now opening in its newest market, 90 miles to the south.
HONORABLE MENTION TO:
Taco Bell Havana: Think outside the bun, but not outside state-mandated parameters.
Logic: Now offering electronic cigars.
Clairol: Only your hairdresser knows for sure…and your government!
HURT—Havana Underground Rapid Transit. Don’t worry, we’ll open a second station in the near future.
Yanqui Candle—With new scents of Mojito Morn, Fresh Sugarcane, and Faint Whiff of Progress.
McDonald’s Cuba: Bringing you American obesity at affordable prices.
COMINTERN Intern Labor Staffing Solutions.
Jet Ski: Be ready next time there’s a regime change.
Starbucks’ new Havana location is now featuring its Miami Batista blend: rich and dense, with a bitter finish.
Fidel Express; When it absolutely, positively has to get there eventually.
De Beers recommends spending at least twenty years’ salary on a suitable engagement ring. Because: A Diamond Takes Forever.
Diebold: Electronic voting machines to ensure the next century of democratic rule by the people’s (only) party.
Major League Baseball: We’ll save you the trip!
Weight Watchers: Reach your goal weight by reducing calorie consumption to a strict weekly amount, as indicated on your government-issued food ration card.
Blockbuster: You guys still have VCRs, right?
AND THE WINNER IS:
Bitcoin Cuba: Combining two things most Americans pretend to, but don’t really, understand.
Quite a statistic
Barr is definitely going to hop right on this
Joe Biden picked up a few unusual endorsements today
USA Today, one of the largest newspapers by circulation in America, gave Joe Biden its first-ever presidential endorsement on Tuesday.
“This is not something we do lightly or do eagerly,” said Bill Sternberg, head of USA Today’s editorial board.
… The newspaper, which published its first endorsement in 1982, posted a “dis-endorsement” of President Trump in 2016, but fell short of actually endorsing Hillary Clinton.
The Hill reports:
Michael Steele, who led the Republican National Committee (RNC) during the first years of Joe Biden’s vice presidency, formally endorsed him Tuesday morning after joining a “Never Trump” GOP group in August.
Steele made his announcement on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” shortly before starring in an advertisement paid for by the anti-Trump group the Lincoln Project.
He seems a little agitated these days
A message to unify America
If Biden wins, he could simply reverse course on this policy, making the court case irrelevant
Unfortunately, science-denying Scott Atlas is now steering the coronavirus task force
As summer faded into autumn and the novel coronavirus continued to ravage the nation unabated, Scott Atlas, a neuroradiologist whose commentary on Fox News led President Trump to recruit him to the White House, consolidated his power over the government’s pandemic response.
Atlas shot down attempts to expand testing. He openly feuded with other doctors on the coronavirus task force and succeeded in largely sidelining them. He advanced fringe theories, such as that social distancing and mask-wearing were meaningless and would not have changed the course of the virus in several hard-hit areas. And he advocated allowing infections to spread naturally among most of the population while protecting the most vulnerable and those in nursing homes until the United States reaches herd immunity, which experts say would cause excess deaths, according to three current and former senior administration officials.
Atlas also cultivated Trump’s affection with his public assertions that the pandemic is nearly over, despite death and infection counts showing otherwise, and his willingness to tell the public that a vaccine could be developed before the Nov. 3 election, despite clear indications of a slower timetable.