New York Magazine Competition No. 41: Historical Product Endorsers

Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays, we lay out a challenge and offer a sample responses. Enter in the comments section, or on Twitter with the hashtag we’ve provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year’s subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner’s choice). Full rules are here.

COMPETITION NO. 41: HISTORICAL PRODUCT ENDORSERSPlease offer a marketing slogan with an unexpected celebrity attached. For example:

Dorothy Parker for Gillette: “When only the sharpest edge will do.”

This is Keith Richards for Volvo. Because safety is my first priority.”

Jesus of Nazareth: “Hi — I’m the Son of God, but I’m also a carpenter. At the Home Depot … ” 

Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #historicalproductendorsers, or in the comments thread below, by February 21.

RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 40, “UNEXPECTED GOP CANDIDATES,” in which you were asked to suggest the latest entrants into the fray. 


Richard Nixon: “Except for Watergate, I’m not looking so bad anymore, am I?”

Brian Williams: “You can believe in me!  And find out the truth long after I’m out of office.”

David Copperfield: “I will make the national debt disappear!

Monica Lewinsky: “Down with Hillary!”

Dan Quayle: He’s learned how to spell “disenfranchisement.”

David and Charles Koch: “Skip the middleman.”

Mark Zuckerberg for president, Sergei Brin for veep: “Because we already know how you are going to vote.”

Michelle Obama: “Not another Clinton or Bush.”

Clint Eastwood: “I’ll keep all those damned kids off the White House lawn.”

Pope Francis: “If you make fun of Christianity, I’ll punch you in the face!”


Chelsea Clinton: Let’s skip ahead so we can get this over with.

Competition No. 41: Historical Product Endorsers