Look, planning elaborate birthday celebrations for loved ones can be stressful. So can having two men you invited into your boyfriend’s home steal his handguns. But really, neither is a reason to stage your own abduction.
An Arizona woman named Jennifer Alvarez reportedly kidnapped herself, throwing her cell phone on the ground and scratching her gums to leave a trail of blood outside of her boyfriend’s home to make him believe she had been abducted. When she was later located at home, she told police two different stories: (1) that she was stressed about having to plan his birthday party and decided to leave, and (2) that two men had stolen his guns and she was afraid he’d get mad, so she wanted to make it seem like they’d kidnapped her in the heist.
Next time, just take your man to Dave and Buster’s; it can count as a birthday celebration and it’ll make him forget about the dudes you let into his house who stole his guns. Problem solved.