just kiss already!

Boehner Spoils the End of New Rom-Com Starring America and Israel

“How will we get them together?” “Maybe they could walk.” “Across the ocean?” “If it’s not too deep.” Photo: Uriel Sinai/Getty Images

Speaker of the House John Boehner is touring the Middle East during Congress’s spring break and stopped to talk with Politico in Israel about how worried he was about foreign policy after the trip. “It’s just that the world is on fire.”

He also accidentally ruined the end of the romantic comedy starring President Obama and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that we have been unwittingly watching unfold for weeks. 

Spoiler: They get back together.

“At the end of the day, we need them and they need us,” Boehner told Politico. “And OK, so you got two people who may not be in love with each other, but the fact is we’re great allies and there’s a lot going on in the world and we need each other.”

Although we didn’t realize that we were watching the fodder for an upcoming summer blockbuster that will probably star the Rock (FEATURING RYAN GOSLING AS BIBI), there have been clues. Although Obama wasn’t happy with Netanyahu for speaking to Congress without asking him first, it was clear the prime minister was trying to win him back. “I called the president,” Netanyahu said, “and he was there … some of what the president has done for Israel might never be known, because it touches on some of the most sensitive and strategic issues that arise between an American president and an Israeli prime minister.” After the parliamentary election, he stressed the “unbreakable bond” Israel has with the United States.

Boehner is right. The world is on fire — with unrequited passion. But it will apparently all turn out okay in the end, even if it’s not owed to the fact that the world is a romantic comedy. “The issue is not a matter of relations between leaders,” Obama said last week, refuting all the shippers — and yet providing hope that leaders who hate each other, as proven by body-language experts and foreign-policy experts alike, can maybe have a happy ending too.

Boehner Spoils the End of New Rom-Com