Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays, we lay out a challenge and offer a sample responses. Enter in the comments section, or on Twitter with the hashtag we’ve provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year’s subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner’s choice). Full rules are here.
COMPETITION NO. 46: “LYRICS FOR MAD MEN’S THEME.” Please offer a few lines to accompany the show’s wordless theme song as the final season unfolds. (See the credits sequence here.) For example:
Crazy twist that
written this week:
We all loved you!
one more fling?
Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #madmenlyrics, or in the comments thread below, by April 29.
RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 45, “TWIN PEAKS WITHOUT DAVID LYNCH,” in which you were asked to suggest how the series might return under new management.
HONORABLE MENTION TO:
BILL O’REILLY: Killing Laura Palmer
SHERWOOD SCHWARTZ: The Harlem Globetrotters stop by.
DARREN STAR: “As I saw the log lady cradling her log, I couldn’t help but wonder, does anyone really need a baby, if they’re just going to grow up to be killed?”
HILLARY CLINTON: Unintentionally undermined the project so that no new episodes were actually made.
JOHN WOO: Every scene is a slow motion shoot-out. DOVES.
MTV: Laura Palmer isn’t dead, just pregnant. Agent Cooper throws her an amazing Sweet 16.
LARRY DAVID: After Special Agent Dale Cooper realizes he can’t solve Laura Palmer’s murder, he quits in frustration, but returns to work the next day as if nothing had happened.
ANDY COHEN: A lot more scenes would be shot at Horne’s department store; less coffee, more rosé.
TERRENCE MALICK: Agent Cooper and his best friend Bob join hands, laugh and spin as they contemplate the Northwest’s misty vistas; a local woman’s log becomes the tree of life.
QUENTIN TARANTINO: The entire series is a study of Laura Palmer’s feet, staring with the heel, skipping to the toe, then focusing a great deal on the arch. In the end, Samuel L Jackson screams about how nice they are, and everyone dies.
TLC: Conjoined Twin Peaks: Abby and Brittany solve a double murder.
BOB FOSSE: A musical thriller. “Let’s Have Another Cup of Coffee, Let’s Have another Piece of Pie” is performed in a red room by dwarves doing pelvic thrusts.
AND THE WINNER IS:
MEL GIBSON: Laura Palmer is killed by Jews.
The Supreme Court has taken up a case that could lead to a rollback of abortion rights
The Supreme Court on Monday agreed to take up a major abortion case next term concerning a controversial Mississippi law that banned most abortions after 15 weeks, rekindling a potentially major challenge to Roe v. Wade at the majority conservative court.
Mississippi’s 15-week abortion ban, which then-Gov. Phil Bryant, a Republican, signed into law in 2018, made exceptions only for medical emergencies or cases in which there is a “severe fetal abnormality,” but not for instances of rape or incest. A federal judge in Mississippi struck down the law in November 2018, and the 5th US Circuit Court of Appeals upheld that ruling in December 2019.
After being rescheduled for the court’s consideration in conference over a dozen times, the case could present a direct challenge to Roe v. Wade, the 1973 landmark Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion nationwide prior to viability, which can occur at around 24 weeks of pregnancy.
It will be a blockbuster case, with the justices revisiting an issue that still deeply divides the country some fifty years after the landmark opinion, and with a ruling potentially coming in the middle of the 2022 midterm elections.
Most American parents will start receiving monthly payments from the government in July
The Biden administration announced Monday that roughly 39 million American families will begin receiving direct cash payments in July under a new child benefit created by Democrats’ coronavirus relief bill.
The Internal Revenue Service will on July 15 start delivering a monthly payment of $300 per child under 6 and $250 per child older than 6 for those who qualify. The monthly benefits will be deposited directly in most families’ bank accounts on the 15th of every month – or the closest day to that date, if the 15th falls on a holiday or weekend – for the rest of the year, without any action required.
… Biden administration officials estimate that households representing more than 65 million children – or 88 percent of all U.S. kids nationwide – will begin receiving the benefit through direct deposit, paper checks, or debit cards. Of that population, roughly 80 percent of that population will be sent the cash directly via direct deposit, administration officials told reporters on a call Sunday. High-income parents will receive a smaller benefit or none at all, depending on how much they make. The credit diminishes for individuals with adjusted gross income of more than $75,000, as well as couples earning more than $150,000.
Building housing multiple media offices leveled in Gaza
An Israeli airstrike targeted and destroyed a high-rise building in Gaza City that housed offices of The Associated Press and other media outlets hours after another Israeli air raid on a densely populated refugee camp killed at least 10 Palestinians from an extended family, mostly children, on Saturday. The strike on the high-rise came nearly an hour after the military ordered people to evacuate the 12-story building, which also housed Al-Jazeera, other offices and residential apartments. The strike brought down the entire structure, which collapsed in a gigantic cloud of dust. There was no immediate explanation for why it was attacked.
The earlier Israeli airstrike on the Gaza City refugee camp was the deadliest single strike of the current conflict between Israel and the militant group Hamas. Both sides are pressing for an advantage as cease-fire efforts gather strength. The latest outburst of violence started in Jerusalem and spread across the region over the past week, with Jewish-Arab clashes and rioting in mixed cities of Israel. There were also widespread Palestinian protests Friday in the occupied West Bank, where Israeli forces shot and killed 11 people.
So where are Americans supposed to go when they want to reflect on the contributions of President Taft, Whitney Houston, and William F. Buckley Jr.?