Burnt Food: 3, Iowa Capitol: 0

The smoke detectors at the Iowa State Capitol went off again today; this time, someone cooked a pizza crust so long that it now resembles an artisanal, kiln-fired Frisbee. Today’s evacuation was the latest in the ongoing battle between the state government’s questionable food-preparation skills and the Capitol’s snitching smoke detectors.

In February, the state Capitol was evacuated because of burnt popcorn. In April, the state Capitol was evacuated because of burnt Easy Mac. The Des Moines Register’s burnt-food beat reporter William Petroski discussed the latest incident with the head of the Iowa State Patrol. “This tells you that the fire alarm system works really well,” said Captain Mark Logsdon. “Sometimes it works a little too good.”

It was not immediately clear whether the state legislature planned to introduce a bill to ban state employees from eating anything besides Lunchables on the premises.