can u not

Woman Finds New Thing to Blame Obama For

Photo: Jamie Grill Photography/Corbis

On Sunday night, a Tennessee woman at a gas station tried to use a $5 bill that in fact appeared to be two pieces of computer paper precariously glued together. The gas-station clerk who believed the money was counterfeit was bolstered by the fact that the back of the note was upside down. When police came and the woman was arrested, she reportedly said, “I don’t give a ****, all these other bitches get to print money so I can too.”

She then told officers, according to the Kingsport Times-News, that “she read online that President Obama had made a new law that permitted her to print her own money because she is on a fixed income.” The woman apparently did not realize that sentences that begin “I read online” are more likely to end with unintended legal ramifications than most other sentences.

Police reportedly later found receipts for computer paper and at least $30,000 in fake cash after a search of her home. As the Huffington Post discovered, such an article does exist, on a website posting “Tasteless American Satire For The Ill-Informed.” The fake news article ends, “Although not everyone on Capitol Hill is pleased with the plan, it seems the average American is keen on the idea of printing his or her own currency. A CNN poll taken shortly after the president’s speech gave him an approval rating of 110%.”