prison break

‘El Chapo’ May Have Been Chilling Out in the Mountains, Report Says

If you see El Chapo this October, there is a 99 percent chance you should not freak out (because it is probably a costume). Photo:

Noted escape expert Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman has been missing for months, but news about the Mexican drug lord has been steadily trickling out this month — either because authorities think they are getting close, or because they want to look like they are, given how embarrassing El Chapo’s July prison escape through a mile-long, well-ventilated tunnel on an itty-bitty motorcycle must have been for them. 

Last week, Mexico arrested the pilot who flew El Chapo to safety after he absconded in his secret underground shower portal. More than 30 people total have been detained in connection with the escape — 23 of them worked for the government. Mexican authorities also reported that they collected 191 pieces of evidence from the tunnel; unfortunately they did not explain what they found. Given the odd arc of El Chapo’s feats of escapism, there are sure to be a few items of interest. Authorities already announced that they found a dead sparrow used for testing the tunnel’s air quality in the kingpin’s cell. Not all the recent news has made the investigation look promising, however: Earlier this month, authorities announced that the guards tasked with keeping an eye on El Chapo were playing solitaire when he escaped

On Wednesday, NBC News reported that a few sources told them that Mexican marines have found a secluded ranch in the Sierra Madre mountains where El Chapo may have been hiding last week. However, when they raided the ranch, giddy with excitement over the fact that El Chapo might get caught, all they found were cell phones and clothes that could have been part of the Sinaloa cartel leader’s fugitive fashion collection.

So … yeah, no one knows where he is. The last time El Chapo escaped from prison it took law enforcement officials 13 years to find him. He was eventually captured at a Mexican beach resort. Given the infamous drug lord’s preferences, it appears that investigators will keep scouring the chillest places on Earth looking for El Chapo for the foreseeable future.

Regardless of the fact that no one knows where he is, everyone should not freak out if they see El Chapo walking around on the sidewalk or hanging with his friends at the mall over the next few weeks. A Mexican costume company has started selling an El Chapo Halloween mask, and they have been selling like crazy. Grupo Rev, which calls itselfthe most important Halloween Company in Mexico,” plans to start selling the costume in the U.S. soon. The company plans to roll out a few more trendy costumes based on the latest headlines, including one of a certain El Chapo–hating presidential candidate. “We already have a Trump mask,” the director told CNN. “What we’re trying to figure out is the outfit. We are thinking in detail about what to include with it.”
‘El Chapo’ Maybe Chilling Out in the Mountains