Cereal mascot Tony the Tiger, who has an official Twitter account because that’s how public relations works now, has been beset of late by tweets from furries — fans of anthropomorphic animals who are hot for his anthropomorphic bod. Studly Tony, and the team of marketers behind him, realized they had accidentally beefed up a friendly character who sells Frosted Flakes to kids into a vessel for a very adult sexual fantasy. From a public image standpoint, not exactly grrr-eat.
So Tony took steps to quench the flames of furry passion, proactively finding and blocking furry accounts on Twitter, even ones who had never tweeted at him, on the off chance that they might direct horny tweets his way. This outraged the fur community, who referred to the corporate mascot’s mass blocking as a “purge.”
By Wednesday, the backlash was so strong that Tony had to issue this gentle rebuff to horny furries, sending the message that Kellogg’s might welcome their business, but it doesn’t welcome their muscly-anthropomorphic-feline fetishes.
Can you imagine how many people must have been involved in drafting, workshopping, rewriting, and signing off on this strategic tweet from a corporation controlling an animated tiger to fans who want to imagine that tiger having sex? Best. episode. of. Mad Men. ever.
The drama will blow over eventually, but in the meantime, another mascot and his corporate masters have sensed an opportunity. Chester Cheetah, the sunglasses-sporting Cheetos spokescat, is inclusive, thirsty for brand engagement, and open to experimentation.
Could Chester be the furry community’s new daddy? So far, things are going … okay, as far as I can tell.
What a time to be alive.
