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This Chicago Alderman’s Squirrel Warnings Went Unheeded, Then One Put Him in the Hospital

You might be next. Photo: Marco Bertorello/AFP/Getty Images

When squirrels decide to get involved in local politics, things can get a little nuts. So discovered Chicago Alderman Howard Brookins, who decided to use his authority to go after the bushy-tailed pests, and who now follows civic issues from a hospital bed.

Last month, Alderman Brookins railed against aggressive squirrels that he claimed were running out of control. The squirrels, he said — in what the Chicago Tribune described as “fiery city council speeches” — were merciless in going after the neighborhood trash cans.

“Literally — I can have a brand new can drop and within a couple days, the squirrels have eaten a hole through it,” Brookins reported to his disinterested fellow citizens. His concerns, according to the Chicago Sun Times were met with laughter.

Well, nobody is laughing anymore.

Just weeks after Alderman Brookins bravely spoke out, the squirrels decided to fight back. On November 13, while he was riding through the park, one leapt into the spokes of his bike, sending him tumbling.

Lest you doubt the destructive potential of a suicidal squirrel, just take a look at Brookins’s Facebook post following the attack. He was knocked unconscious by the fall and seriously injured. He broke his nose, fractured his skull, and lost a few teeth, leaving him in need of multiple surgeries and facing a months-long recovery.

And the squirrel paid the ultimate price. That’s his broken body, threaded through spokes of the bicycle’s front wheel.

Still, the squirrels got exactly what they wanted: Brookins won’t be able to attend meetings anytime soon.

They may have broken his bones, but the squirrels haven’t been able to break Brookins’s spirit. He still has a sense of humor about he whole thing, though he has no doubt about exactly what went down: “I can think of no other reason for this squirrel’s actions than that it was like a suicide bomber, getting revenge.”

Squirrel Hospitalizes Anti-Squirrel Chicago Alderman