Closing Out the New York Magazine Competition: Results of No. 83

Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. As some of you have speculated in the comments thread, No. 83 will be our final installment. I have greatly enjoyed carrying the great Mary Ann Madden’s creation forward for the past couple of years, and thank you all for playing. (I also apologize for the slow posting of results on the final couple of installments. I had been pulled onto other assignments, and I also got sick for a while.)

RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 83, in which you were asked for theories about the wrong-envelope snafu at the Oscars.


Kill one award with two Emma Stones.
Ryan Lochte keeps changing his story. I smell chlorine!
There are two identical sets of envelopes, handed out from either side of the stage. Welcome to the multiverse.
Check didn’t clear.
“Accountants; they’re nearly all Jews.” — Mel Gibson, director, Hacksaw Ridge
Cocaine is a helluva drug.
Hillary ignored the Rust Belt.
No wrong envelope. Those Oscars were the greatest ever, the best, well-oiled machine. Enemy-of-the-people media using made-up “sources” to lie about the event. Sad!
Hollywood elite dumbs down.
Someone had to do something to keep us awake!


One final, “Thanks, Obama!”

Closing Out the New York Competition: Results of No. 83