Were you worried about the raccoon who spent the better part of Tuesday, and some of Wednesday, climbing to the top of a skyscraper in downtown Saint Paul, Minnesota? Were you even aware that there was a raccoon who spent the better part of Tuesday, and some of Wednesday, climbing to the top of a skyscraper in downtown Saint Paul, Minnesota? Well, in either case, the raccoon is fine. It made it to the top of the UBS center early Wednesday and was picked up by Wildlife Management Services and is on its way to being released in a safer, skyscraper-less area.
Prior to reaching the top — over 20 stories up — and being rescued, the raccoon caused quite a stir on Twitter, where we were all clearly starved for something to pay attention to other than the truly nightmarish news cycle we’re living in at the moment.
Look, I’m happy, I guess, that this little trash panda made it to the top alive. Good for it. But also, have you ever interacted with a raccoon in the wild? They’re evil. Steal your toothpaste and chew holes through your swimsuits and paw through your trash throwing it everywhere kind of evil. (I realize this is a very specific hatred rooted in having spent a month every summer of my childhood living in a tent in the woods and the other 11 months living in a house in the woods, but still.) Congrats, raccoon. You get to live another day and torment some more humans.