hollamd tonnel

Pour One Out for the ‘HOLLAMD TONNEL,’ the Only Thing Port Authority Has Ever Fixed

Port Authority chairman Kevin O’Toole and executive director Rick Cotton break the good news. Photo: Port Authority of New York & New Jersey

December’s best faux outrage has been the drama surrounding the Christmas festooning of the entrance to the Holland Tunnel. Or, more accurately, the HOLLAMD TONNEL, which was what the tunnel’s sign looked like for the past few weeks decorated with a wreath, a Christmas tree, and another wreath, placed over the “O,” “N,” and “O” respectively. On Monday, the Port Authority announced — in a press conference led by Port Authority chairman Kevin O’Toole and executive director Rick Cotton outside the tunnel entrance — that it would be taking down the second wreath and moving the tree over the “A.”

This whole kerfuffle began after a commuter, Cory Windelspech, started a petition to change the decorations because they were bugging him on his daily commute. Nearly 3,000 people signed a Change.com petition entitled “Move the Christmas Tree on the Holland Tunnel From the N to the A.” Port Authority leaned into the bit, encouraging people on Twitter to vote and broadcasting today’s results via Facebook Live.

And that folks, is the true meaning of Christmas. Grabbing the attention of city officials in charge of vital services and encouraging them to spend time on something completely cosmetic rather than fixing any number of real infrastructure problems the city might be facing. Happy holidays.

RIP HOLLAMD TONNEL, the Only Thing Port Authority Ever Fixed