You might know Sonic and his main pals, Tails and Knuckles, but the Sonic franchise — through dozens of games, TV shows, and comic books — has a sprawling cast of characters. Anthropomorphic animals and robots and aliens come together to form a rich tapestry and never-ending saga. All over the web you can find fan art, and debates and tributes to these characters.
But one fan tribute rises above the rest as the most disconcerting and funniest Sonic tribute I’ve ever seen. Those unlucky enough to know me well will eventually receive a link to this video. Years ago, a YouTube user named Guptill89 uploaded a video extolling the virtues of “the Top 10 Hottest Female Sonic Characters.” The video is something to behold: an enthusiastic, medium-creepy, clumsily written roundup of the extended Sonic universe’s most crushable babes. Every line of it will make you want to shrivel up into a husk and disappear from this reality. I cannot get enough of this video.
“Since Valentine’s Day is around the corner, I’ve been inspired to make a top-ten list of the most beautiful female Sonic characters,” our narrator informs us. How fitting then, that we should revisit this video on Valentine’s Day 2020, when the release of the Sonic the Hedgehog movie lands in theaters.
You can watch the video below. Or, if you’re already familiar, you can skip to the quiz that follows. Can you match the cringeworthy description to the corresponding Sonic character? Good luck!
Which Sonic Character Is This About?
Can you match each description from Guptill89's harrowing, classic "Top 10 Hottest Female Sonic Characters" video to the correct character? Let's find out!
Yes! It's Sonic the Hedgehog!
This was a gimme! How did you get this wrong?
Yes It's Cosmo! From Sonic X!
Get out of here!!! It's obviously Cosmo!
We stan creatures who are the size of an average human mother!
I can't believe you chose a character who is clearly NOT the size of an average human mother.
Why, it's Amy Rose, of course!
ROFLMAO I can't believe it. This character does NOT have three big, smooth arcs of hair sticking out of their forehead.
Yep! She hardly does a thing (except for defeating a god).
No way! Also if you guessed Sonica, I just made that up.
Yes! Can't top that mauve hair!
Two of these answers were obviously fake and the third is a dude. How'd you whiff this one?
Hell yeah, it's Wave!
Wrong! Just incredibly wrong. I'm embarrassed for you.
420 Blaze the Cat it.
Again, process of elimination would've shown you the way here.
And hair, you say???
Please brush up on your cascading quills.
Yes!! We respect anyone who is like a mother to Tails.
Wrong!! This character is not a mother to tails.
Correct! It's Rouge! The face that launched a thousand ships.
Drone leaker Daniel Hale sentenced to almost four years
Hale, who choked up at times as he delivered a 17-minute statement to the court, expressed no remorse about his disclosures but deep regret about having played a part in lethal U.S.-run drone operations in Afghanistan …
Judge Liam O’Grady’s comments imposing the sentence amounted to something of a rebuttal to Hale’s claim. The judge said he was persuaded that Hale was motivated in part by genuine outrage over civilian casualties of U.S. drone operations, but the judge said Hale could have joined that debate without leaking classified information to The Intercept, an online news outlet.
“You’re not facing prison for speaking out about the drone program injuring and killing innocent persons. … A majority of Americans would have commended you for coming forward,” said O’Grady, an appointee of President George W. Bush. “You could have been a whistleblower and garnered all this attention without leaking any of these documents, frankly.”
Mike Enzi, the former senator from Wyoming, has died following a bicycle accident
Former senator Mike Enzi (R-Wyo.), the onetime chairman of two Senate panels crucial to domestic policy, died Monday after suffering serious injuries in a bicycle accident. He was 77.
Enzi was riding his bicycle near his home in Gillette, Wyo., when he was injured Friday and flown to UCHealth Medical Center of the Rockies in Loveland, Colo.
Enzi “passed away peacefully today surrounded by his family,” a statement posted to his Twitter account late Monday said. His family said they plan to share details about a “celebration of a life well-lived” at a later time.
The genial, low-key conservative was elected to the U.S. Senate in 1996 after serving as mayor of Gillette and a member of the Wyoming legislature. He decided not to seek a fifth term in 2020.
The identification of a 98th victim in the collapse of Champlain Towers South in Surfside, Florida, brought the painstaking process of searching for missing people to a close Monday. The remains of Estelle Hedaya, 54, were at last identified, her brother, Ikey Hedaya, told The Associated Press. Hedaya was the only victim left unrecovered when firefighters concluded their search for bodies Friday as, nearly a month after the collapse, the stories-high debris pile was cleared so that the building’s entire foundation was exposed.
Joe Manchin strongly signaled in 2018 that his brutal reelection campaign that year was his last. Now, as he marshals the entire Senate in his centrist direction, he’s not so sure he’ll call it quits.
The West Virginia Democrat is steadily padding his campaign coffers, raising $1.6 million in the first six months this year and sitting on nearly $4 million for a potential race that wouldn’t occur for three years. His colleagues say he’s not acting like a senator in his last term, despite his famous assertion during his last campaign that Washington “sucks.”
And as the 50th Democratic vote, Manchin is charting a bipartisan course for the Senate alongside a like-minded band of moderates in both parties, not to mention serving alongside a president who shares his back-slapping and horse-trading DNA. Instead of sucking, Manchin now says Washington has “accomplished more than we have for the 10 years I’ve been here.”
“You never know. You don’t know. There’s always a chance, absolutely,” Manchin said in an interview. When it comes to a potential reelection campaign alongside a presidential race in 2024, Manchin said: “You better be prepared, that’s all I can say. And I’m being prepared.”