I had just gotten home from work, and from picking up my daughter, and was on my way to get something to eat when I ran into Eric at a KFC. I got my food and walked outside to where he was, and stopped to ask him for a pack of cigarettes. We started talking. In the midst of that conversation, a fight breaks out between two people. He jumps up and separates them and, as he’s doing that, two police ride over and immediately jump out and go straight to Eric while the other two people walk off like nothing happened.
Eric asked Officer Justin D’Amico, “What happened? Why did you stop me?” D’Amico said he just saw him sell cigarettes. Then Eric just started screaming, saying he was crazy, he was lying, and telling him to get out of here.
Pantaleo just kept saying, “We saw you selling cigarettes.” There were games being played. That’s when I pulled my camera and started recording, because a week earlier, I actually recorded an incident on that same spot, where police beat somebody else up too.
Eventually Pantaleo grabbed Eric and started choking him, wrestling with him. Eric was standing his ground for a little while, trying to stand up. He’s a big guy. But he eventually got tired. When they finally fell on the floor, and he was trying to get Eric’s hands cuffed behind his back, Pantaleo didn’t let him go. I’m just standing there recording, watching, watching my surroundings. And then I see Eric stop breathing. His eyes just rolled back.
Eric was lying there for a good ten minutes. And the police officers were acting like he was alive, bullshitting for the crowd, talking to him like, “Oh, Mr. Garner, come on. You got to get up.” And I’m standing there, screaming, “Y’all n- - - - - killed him. Y’all know he’s dead.”
Paramedics ended up walking Eric to the ambulance. It’s a crowd circling around us. As soon as they close his door, one of the officers tells another officer, “Grab him, he’s threatening me. Lock his ass up.” The crowd heard it. And as soon as the cop grabbed one of my arms, the whole crowd grabbed the other arm and sucked me into the crowd, like, “Yo, y’all not doing nothing to him. He ain’t do nothing. He was sitting on his fucking bike the whole time, recording y’all.”
When they realized the crowd was not going to budge, they was like, “All right. Well, then, go home.”
I go to my house and get in the shower. The next thing I know, I’ve got a thousand text messages and missed calls from everybody. One of my good friends at the time calls me and says, “Bro, I got somebody down here that’s offering $250 for pictures.” I show the guy my video, and he asks, “How much you want for it?” I’m like, “I don’t want nothing for this, man. This is Eric for me. Just put it up on the news.”
He said, “Do you wanna put your name on it?” I say yeah. He says, “Are you sure? You know, what’s gonna happen to you, right?” I didn’t care. They already know who I am anyway.
The police targeting me started ASAP. That very same night they started with their bullshit, everything that transpired from the night they killed him up until I got sentenced. The first case came about when they finally figured out that I wasn’t going to give them the original video. Children’s Affairs kept coming to my house. And I kept telling them, “No.” They went to my child’s mother’s job, asking her for the video. She’s telling them, “No.” She lost her job. Eventually, the night that they ruled it a homicide, it was a couple days after I ended up getting locked up for gun possession. It was never found on me. No fingerprints on the gun. Nothing. And then when I got sentenced and sent to prison, that was a whole other story.
It’s never ending. Sometimes I don’t even like doing these interviews because I get backlash. Every time I talk, they start to put pressure on me. I can’t even pay attention to the Black Lives Matter movement, or with Eric’s situation, because I’m personally dealing with a battle with the NYPD.
When I bailed out for the gun case, the drug case came about. They said I was selling drugs to an undercover, and that I was a kingpin of a drug organization. They had me, my moms, and my so-called brother and 20 other people. It was a big indictment, and they had me at the head. This time, locked up on Rikers Island, I find rat poison in my food. That felt pretty much targeted for me.
I ended up exposing that. That got me home. I raised enough money to bail out on the drug case, so now I’m out on two bails. I leave Staten Island, and I go back to the Lower East Side, where I’m from, and no less than a week later, they target me again, said that I sold drugs to an undercover in my neighborhood. I go to court and find out that the drugs were fake anyways, so they couldn’t charge me. But then, they try to switch it up and said that I robbed her for the mark money. They tried to hit me with a robbery charge on police. Obviously, it was bullshit. Even the judge was like, “How the fuck does he rob police?” I bailed out on that case before they even dropped it completely.
I just hired a civil-rights lawyer because I got concrete proof of nonstop fucking harassment. I got voice recordings, I got text messages from parole, I got everything. They stopped me from leaving this state. I just got off parole, but I’m still on federal bail. And it’s still hard to get out of this state, even though I just finished state parole.
But I don’t want my story to discourage anyone from filming police. Just get legal representatives before you expose that video, because if it just so happens to become a situation that sparks a situation, you will become a situation. They can’t lock us all up or set us all up when everybody’s pulling out their cameras. Whether you like it or not, you have to have an opinion about it or you have to be doing something about it. Keep exposing them.
I was running late to my job when I saw a chase between an officer and a man. They had a little bit of a struggle, and I saw Walter Scott screaming. I decided to pull my phone out and just record, to prevent some bad outcome from happening. To intimidate the officer with my camera, I got closer; that way, he could be aware that someone was there.
But it didn’t happen the way that I thought it would. Walter Scott got up, and the officer deployed his weapon on him, shooting him eight times while he was running away.
Had I been in my right mind, I would not have stayed to stand behind a shooting. But I was really frozen; I never put down my phone. I never got on the ground afraid that I might get shot.
It was very difficult for me to process it. As an immigrant, I always believed that officers are living up to their values of protecting and serving citizens. It was really shocking to see the exact opposite.
I was very nervous. I spoke with several witnesses around the area about recording the video. As soon as they saw it, they all backed away from me, like, “Listen, man, like you are in problems.”
That was the dilemma. Morally I want to do the right thing, but at the same time I need to go back to my country, my roots, and my family. And I knew that if I gave up the video, I would be involved in the legal process.
So a few hours later, I’m cutting hair in the shop and I see the story on the news. And they say there was a shooting with a Black man and an officer involved, and the victim died. But according to police, the officer acted in self-defense.
That was really the trigger. I had to forget about my personal dreams and stand up for justice. I understood that my only decision should be to give the video to Walter Scott’s family so they can know the truth of what happened.
I received a lot of harassment for that. I received death threats, messages telling me that I shouldn’t be involved in the case, that I should have stayed quiet. I just thought that everybody would understand that it doesn’t matter if they’re Black, white, Hispanic, even police. I thought they would go against this guy for committing a homicide. But when I saw so many people defending the officer and, even in the trial, being denigrated by the defense attorney — which I know is his job — I was like, Wow, he’s defending the indefensible.
This individualistic mentality is not going to take us anywhere; in order to change things, we have to work collectively. And we cannot be hiding against injustice. I think being silent on these issues is just as criminal as being the person who pulled the trigger. That’s why I decided to stand up and believe in this. And it didn’t matter that my life was in danger. It didn’t matter if I was going to face any retaliation. I understood that that was the right thing to do till this day.
I had never seen a man get shot to death. It wasn’t easy observing all that and taking it all in. It made me feel numb for a long time, and I’m just finally getting out of it and kind of opening back up. It changed my life dramatically.
Right after I recorded the shooting, they locked me in the police car. It was hot, there was no AC coming to the back; I was in there for five or six hours … I was afraid. I didn’t know what was going to happen. It was very hard to all take in. I didn’t do nothing. I was just there to witness it, there at the wrong time, wrong place. They didn’t let me use the bathroom; they didn’t let me have a bottle of water, even when I was in the hot car sweating. After that, they took me to a police station somewhere, and they locked me in a room for maybe another two hours. They treated me as if I was the bad guy. It was wrong. There was no professionalism at all. They just said that Iwas a witness and they needed me away from everybody. Finally, someone came to take my statement and drove me back to the store.
They told me that they had a search warrant to take the surveillance-camera system in the store, but I found out later that they had already unplugged and taken it hours beforehand. I didn’t share the cell-phone video publicly until I went to my lawyer for advice. I was scared to do anything with it. But my heart wouldn’t let me just stay quiet and let it go. I had to let it out. People needed to see the video. His family needed to see the truth.
Seeing other police shootings brings back a lot of flashbacks to the point where I can’t sleep at night. But it just shows that the officers in this country need more training and more patience when they’re dealing with people on the street. They should learn how to de-escalate problems rather than escalate. I understand that it’s a very tough job. But this is what they chose to do, and they should do it correctly.
Diamond Reynolds was the girlfriend of Philando Castile when he was killed by police near Minneapolis on July 6, 2016. She and her 4-year-old daughter were in the car with him that night when they were pulled over ostensibly for having a broken taillight. (It was revealed later that the police thought Castile might resemble a robbery suspect.) Moments later, Officer Jeronimo Yanez shot and killed Castile as he reached for his wallet. Reynolds livestreamed the immediate aftermath on Facebook; the footage quickly went viral.
The Castile family eventually reached a $3 million settlement with the City of St. Anthony, Minnesota. Yanez was charged with second-degree manslaughter but ultimately acquitted. Afterward, Reynolds felt her community shunned her.
Diamond Reynolds filmed the aftermath of the killing of her boyfriend, Philando Castile, from the passenger seat of his car at 9 p.m. on July 6, 2016, in Falcon Heights, MN.
Here, the same location at 9 p.m. on January 16, 2022.
Diamond Reynolds was the girlfriend of Philando Castile when he was killed by police near Minneapolis on July 6, 2016. She and her 4-year-old daughter were in the car with him that night when they were pulled over ostensibly for having a broken taillight. (It was revealed later that the police thought Castile might resemble a robbery suspect.) Moments later, Officer Jeronimo Yanez shot and killed Castile as he reached for his wallet. Reynolds livestreamed the immediate aftermath on Facebook; the footage quickly went viral.
The Castile family eventually reached a $3 million settlement with the City of St. Anthony, Minnesota. Yanez was charged with second-degree manslaughter but ultimately acquitted. Afterward, Reynolds felt her community shunned her.
Diamond Reynolds filmed the aftermath of the killing of her boyfriend, Philando Castile, from the passenger seat of his car at 9 p.m. on July 6, 2016, in Falcon Heights, MN.
Here, the same location at 9 p.m. on January 16, 2022.
We were leaving the grocery store, and Philando noticed we were being followed. We end up getting pulled over. The officer asked Phil, “Do you know why you’re being pulled over?” Phil said he didn’t know. I didn’t know why either. The police officer asked for Philando’s registration and license and he was a little nervous, so he told the officer, “I have to look for it.”
Philando was trying to ask him, “Is it okay if I go and reach for my ID and my license and things that are in my pocket? But before I can reach, I have to tell you that I am concealed and licensed to carry.” And before he can finish his statement, next thing you know, shots went into the car with me and my daughter, Dae’Anna.
I couldn’t believe it was happening. I was in disbelief. I thought he was still alive. I thought it was a dream. I thought it was a nightmare.
I whipped out my phone in the heat of the moment and started recording. Even though my phone only had like 5 percent battery life left, something took over my body, mind, soul that said, Record this, because if you don’t, there’s no telling where the story could end up, what they can make of this, what lies they can tell. And I didn’t want to get blamed for Philando’s murder.
That was when I decided to stream it to Facebook Live.
My daughter was 4 at the time. Philando was a father figure in her life and a very good role model to her. Seeing him get killed was such a shock. She now has nightmares and a hard time trusting authority. She still faces trauma every day. And she’s in therapy, but therapy can only help her so much. I think seeing Phil not get any justice made her feel like the system failed us tremendously.
I have really bad anxiety and PTSD now. I don’t drive my car at night because I’m so fearful of what will happen to me and my daughter. It’s been very hard to make relationships. After the shooting, the community separated themselves away from me. Me and my daughter began to get death threats. Philando’s mother began stating that if her son was never with me, he would still be alive. I’ve basically been blackballed. Anything that Minnesota has done on the behalf of Philando, I haven’t been invited to.
My daughter and I were both in that car. Why weren’t our lives taken more seriously? Why weren’t people checking to see if we were okay? What happens once all the cameras go away? What happens once it’s been years since loved ones have been deceased? What is the outcome? What is the change? What is different?
His mother, his family, probably felt like I was never good enough for him anyway. I’m low-class. I’m in poverty. Even though I worked a full-time and a part-time job at the time, and I have my own house, I was still struggling and I didn’t have a lot of support with family. Philando was there for me every step of the way. I feel like his family hasn’t supported me since his death because they never wanted me with him in the first place. To this day, I’m like the most hated person in Minnesota. People are speculating that I received a million dollars in settlement. I never once received an increment of a million dollars. I have to pay all five of my lawyers. I have to pay restitution and fees. The amount that was posted in the media was not even close to what I received.
After that, in fact, I was still struggling. I was homeless. I went into a downward spiral; I was very depressed and didn’t come out of my house for six months. No one would provide me moral support; everyone would basically solicit my story and make money off of it or use me.
My daughter has dreams and goals of traveling around the world, of telling her story to kids that have also been affected by not just gun violence but police brutality, on how to heal and overcome. About the challenges that she’s faced from 4 to 10 years old. And the platform that we have is not for us here in Minnesota, because no one supports our movement.
On the anniversary of Philando’s death, me and my daughter will go to the place over on Larpenteur where it actually happened, and we’ll lay flowers down, because that’s the only thing that we have. And even that little place, they made that into a peace garden. They have done so many things with that section of land where Philando was killed, and they have not once included me and Dae’Anna. It doesn’t even feel like the same place.
Sometimes I regret even being where I was at that point in time, because I recorded the immediate aftermath of him being killed. If none of that helped him after he was gone, then why did I do it? My videos were spot on. How is it that Darnella Frazier’s videos were able to get justice for George Floyd but my video wasn’t enough to get Philando Castile justice? And now I have to live with this for the rest of my life. I’m living with the hurt in my heart and nightmares every night of seeing my beloved being killed in the seat next to me with blood all over his shirt. I’m the one that can still smell the gunpowder. I’m the one that has to constantly explain to my daughter that not all cops are bad, even though she doesn’t believe me. I’m the one that has to go above and beyond my call of duty to even let my story be heard, because no one feels Philando Castile got any justice at all.
Thanks, America.
