today in eric adams

Would You Drink This?

It’s either his second breakfast or his third dinner. Photo: New York State Legislature

“Today in Eric Adams” — the T.E.A. — brings you the best of the day in Eric Adams.

Type of Sighting: Budget Testimony
Location: Albany
Time: 10 a.m.

The Incident
New York City makes and spends a lot of money — a bit over $100 billion a year — and it’s a huge and underdiscussed figure. All that guap went underplayed again at today’s budget hearing, where New York City mayor Eric Adams argued for the state to provide more tax credits for mental-health facilities, child-care businesses, and for moderate- and low-income families directly. That’s all fine and dandy (read: Here’s to hoping Albany sees it through and helps those families, but it could just as easily ask where the city’s budget, which rivals the budgets of many whole nations, is going), but that’s not what’s important right now, because all we could do is look at the mayor’s smoothie!

The Commentary
What in the Kafkaesque is this? This looks like if Flubber from Flubber was kidnapped, gutted, and left to decompose at the bottom of a NutriBullet® cup. Why does it look like it’s mutating?

When we saw stills from the conference hit the tweets, we took it directly to the T.E.A. Slack channel, where the squad had some concerns.

Mayor Adams usually spins up seaweed, kale, bananas, and other superfoods for his morning smoothies, but this drink looks like it’d do more clogging than less. This brown-green nightmare, which began to separate during the course of the hearing, might make the mayoral bathroom break look more like Royal Rumble.

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What Happens If You Drink That?