Ukraine Doesn’t Deserve Bono’s Terrible Poem

He writes in mysterious ways. Photo: Spencer Platt/Getty Images

Uno, dos, tres, catorce, Bono is here, just in time for St. Patrick’s Day! The U2 front man and humanitarian Zelig wrote a poem in honor of Ukraine, which House Speaker Nancy Pelosi read out loud as a prelude to a Riverdance performance (remember them?). Brace yourselves — this was not a beautiful day.

This is not Bono’s first crime against the form: He once wrote a poem for the late American evangelist Billy Graham that includes the lines “In the voice of a preacher / loudly soft on my tears.”

Pelosi also bears some responsibility here. Let us not forget that she once marked the anniversary of January 6 with a Hamilton performance, further traumatizing the nation. At least she spared us a repeat Lin-Manuel Miranda appearance.

There’s no word on how Volodymyr Zelenskyy feels about being anointed a modern-day Saint Patrick, but he probably has bigger concerns on his mind. I, however, do not. Sadly, in my ongoing search for a decent Bono poem, I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

Ukraine Doesn’t Deserve Bono’s Terrible Poem