Prince Harry Is Lucky Donald Trump Isn’t His Grandparent

There are worse things than being a royal. Photo: Alastair Grant/POOL/AFP via Getty Images

Dispensing unsolicited celebrity-relationship advice is one of Donald Trump’s favorite pastimes. For example, back in 2012, he tweeted, “Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again—just watch. He can do much better!” The future Twihard-in-chief proceeded to tweet about the former couple seven more times, as recorded by Trump Twitter Archive:

Tragically, our Twitterless former president has not weighed in on RPatz’s performance in The Batman or KStew’s Oscar nomination. But thanks to Piers Morgan, we do have an update on another one of his celebrity couple obsessions: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

In a promotional clip for Trump’s interview on Piers Morgan Uncensored, which airs Monday night on TalkTV, he declares that Harry is “whipped,” pausing to make sure Morgan is familiar with this very well-known expression and its cruder version. He then says he thinks the couple’s marriage will end in divorce, claiming he’s “been a very good predictor” of such things.

“I’m not a fan of Meghan,” Trump explains. “I’m not a fan, and I wasn’t right from the beginning.”

Fact-check: true. The Trump-Markle beef actually predates her relationship with the royal family. During the 2016 election, the Suits star revealed that she would not be voting to Make America Great Again on account of all the misogyny.

Trump labeled Markle “nasty” for criticizing him. Then he denied ever making the remark, though it was on tape.

The feud continued when Harry and Meghan moved to the U.S. in 2020. Trump tweeted, “The U.S. will not pay for their security protection. They must pay!” though they had already made private security arrangements. Several months later, the couple released a thinly veiled endorsement of Joe Biden, to which Trump responded during a White House briefing, “I’m not a fan of hers … I wish a lot of luck to Harry — because he’s going to need it.”

In his interview with Morgan (who has his own history with Markle), Trump suggests that, if it were in his power, he would do even more to penalize the couple for rejecting royal life.

“The only thing I disagree with the queen on, probably one of the only things ever,” Trump says, “is that I think she should have said, ‘If that’s your choice, fine, but you no longer have titles — and frankly, don’t come around.’ He has been so disrespectful to the country, and I think he’s an embarrassment.”

Since moving to the U.S., Prince Harry has returned to the U.K. only to attend Prince Philip’s funeral in April 2021, to unveil a statue of his mother, Princess Diana, in July 2021, and to visit the queen last month. So basically, Trump thinks allowing Harry to pay his respects to dead loved ones and say hello to his long-COVID-stricken, 96-year-old granny is too generous.

It is certainly difficult to be a member of the British royal family (see: The Queen, Diana: In Her Own Words, four seasons of The Crown, Spencer, Harry and Meghan’s Oprah interview, and the Harry bits of Oprah’s series on mental health). But any time Harry is feeling a bit down about being a Mountbatten-Windsor, he can remind himself it could be worse: He could be a Trump.

Prince Harry Is Lucky Donald Trump Isn’t His Grandparent