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  1. that other certainty in life
    Wait, Is My Pilates Class Tax Deductible?Probably not.
  2. the most important people in the world
    Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom Make It OfficialTwo celebrities/elfin creatures will join together in marriage.
  3. heroes
    Subway Hero Exhibits Further Adorableness on Rachel Maddow ShowWatch your back, Sullenberger.
  4. party lines
    Michael Strahan: ‘If You Need Any Actor, I’m Your Starring Man’The former Giants defensive end just filmed his first TV role, and he tells us showbiz is for him.
  5. in other news
    Adrienne Shelly’s Killer Sentenced to 25 Years in PrisonDiego Pillco, the construction worker who killed actress-director Adrienne Shelly in November 2006, pleaded guilty to manslaughter earlier today. He confessed to strangling her while attempting to rob her (he later set up the crime scene to make it look like it was a suicide). Pillco will serve 25 years in prison. Adrienne is survived by her husband, Andrew, and their young daughter, Sophie. Not long after her death, Shelly’s award-winning film Waitress debuted at the Sundance Film Festival. Her next screenplay, Serious Moonlight, is soon to be produced. Related: Shelly Lives [NYM]
  6. sex diaries
    The Single and Lonely Hot ActorOnce a week, Daily Intel takes a peek at what your friends and neighbors are doing behind doors left slightly ajar. Today, the Single and Lonely Hot Actor: 32, male, Manhattan, straight. DAY ONE 8:32 p.m.: I am sitting at the Union Square Starbucks fidgeting, and avoiding eye contact of a brunette, who seems to be tirelessly staring at me. 8:47 p.m.: Brunette left. I’m too lazy to hunt these days. Today the doe lives. The alpha male retreats. I’ve been single for two years or so. I’ve dated a lot, but I’m single. I just want someone to wake up to on a daily basis. 10:30 p.m.: In bed. Thinking of Ashley, a girl I dated for four months. We have not spoken for about five years. I think she didn’t trust me. Or thought maybe that I was unreliable. She’s my One Who Got Away. I wanted a life with that woman. Something tells me she is lonely. Very lonely. Obviously.
  7. ethnography
    A Norma Desmond Is Still a Star Species: The Norma Desmond Etymology: Norma Desmonds are aging performers whose time and has come and gone. They’re still big; it’s the nightlife scene that got small! Distinguishing characteristics: Normas are often surrounded by a crowd of older cougars — the comparison makes them look younger — and Viagra’d men who hang on their every word. They know how to play it up and show off their best assets — usually their legs, in a too-short dress. The hair is an unnatural hue that recalls Carrot Top. The first thing a Norma Desmond will tell you is that she’s in an upcoming film with a major star. IMDb will disagree. Known locales: The Pen-Top bar at the Peninsula; the Stone Rose, mingling with other ladies past their prime. Diet: Normas keep it old-school: Valium and Benzedrine. How to approach: “Are you in movies?” is the best way. Normas love to be recognized; their lives depend on it. Without some attention, they wilt. But once you get them talking about themselves, they won’t stop. Run. Fast. Endangerment status: Slim. You might end up face-down in the pool, but she’ll always be ready for her close-up. —Amina Akhtar
  8. Charlize Theron, Double-Dipping Monster?Charlize Theron has been wearing the wrong accessories lately, and yesterday she was sued for it. The Oscar-winning actress swung a deal with Swiss watch designer Raymond Weil, promising only to wear Weil’s watches at public events from October 2005 to December 31, 2006, according to a complaint filed in New York County Court today. In exchange, it says, Theron was to receive a “very substantial sum.” But then she appeared in an online ad for Dior, pimping perfume and wearing, the suit alleges, “faux canary diamond jewelry.” And wearing Montblanc jewelery on a billboard at a luxury-watch trade show in Geneva. And wearing a Christian Dior watch at a film festival in Austin. And — perhaps worst — in a “The watches your favorite celebrities are wearing” feature in an issue of the Tourneau Times, with the caption “Charlize Theron wears Dior.” Weil’s complaint doesn’t quite call Theron a monster, but it does charge she committed fraud. They want their money back. —Nick Divito Read the complaint.
  9. cultural capital
    Sundance Report: ‘Angel-A’ Actress Goes to Park City, Turns on New York Rie Rasmussen, the 31-year-old Danish model, artist, filmmaker, and actress, calls New York home these days, but she’s in Park City this week with Angel-A, the Luc Besson film in which she stars. The story of a Parisian lowlife whose attempted suicide is thwarted by mysterious blonde, played by Rasmussen, Angel-A drew a young and enthusiastic crowd — mostly twentysomething guys — to the Library Center Theatre Tuesday night. After the screening, Besson, creator of fan favorites Nikita and The Professional, entered to cheers; the cheers turned to hoots and whistles when Rasmussen sprinted down the aisle to join him onstage. But the next day, just before last night’s screening, Rasmussen wasn’t exactly returning the love.
  10. intel
    Scenes From the East Village: David Cross EditionDramatis personae: Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, and a laughing, unsteadily walking David Cross. In front of Professor Thom’s, Second Avenue between 13th and 14th Streets. Last night, approximately 1 a.m. ARNETT, POEHLER, and CROSS exit the bar, where apparently, Fred Armisen was hosting an open-bar birthday party. CROSS Oh, man, put another one in the bag! CROSS staggers across the sidewalk and directly into a news box. The news box falls over and hits the ground with a thunk. CROSS does likewise. CROSS slides across the top of the news box in slow motion, then lies splayed on the ground next to it. ARNETT and POEHLER stand alongside, laughing too hard to help. A minute passes. ARNETT composes himself to offer a hand to CROSS. CROSS, suddenly moving quickly, springs up as if on his fifth Red Bull. CROSS See ya! As quickly as he’d arisen, CROSS disappears into a cab. Exeunt.Jada Yuan
  11. party lines
    At Will Smith Tribute, a Reporter’s Dreams Come True When you’re a little girl named Jada, there’s only one heroine: Jada Pinkett Smith. Before she came along, there was no one. The kids would sometimes call you Jabba the Hut; people asking your name would hear Hada, or Judah, or sometimes even Juan. But then Miss Pinkett became a star, and people got it. “Oh, Jada,” they’d say, “as in Jada Pinkett Smith.” She was, and remains, the only famous Jada in the world. And when you’ve grown up to be a party reporter named Jada, it is a momentous occasion when Jada Pinkett Smith comes to town for the Museum of the Moving Image’s tribute to her husband, Will Smith. Arriving at the Waldorf-Astoria last night, Smith greeted the reporter first: “Jada?! That is so funny! How you doing, baby? Give me a hug!” Then along came his wife, who is less excitable but ready to welcome a sister. “Girl,” she said, “we were the first ones! When everyone was like, ‘What? Judah, Joda, Jumper?’” Then 8-year-old Jaden, Will and Jada’s son, weighed in. Reporter Jada introduced herself, and Jaden’s eyes grew huge with shock. He looked at his mom, and then he looked back at the reporter. He glared suspiciously. And the message was clear: The room was only big enough for one Jada that night. The non–Pinkett Smith Jada backed away. She’d flown too close to the sun. —Jada Yuan
  12. intel
    Exposé: Ousted Mac Man Was Computer Illiterate! Was Justin Long — the scruffy-faced Mac to John Hodgman’s straitlaced PC in those ubiquitous Apple ads — ousted from his role simply because, as Radar and Gawker suggested the other day, he was an annoying dweeb? Or was it because — and make sure you’re sitting down for this — the human embodiment of cool computing actually didn’t even know how to use one of the machines? Long made the confession at a party this summer. “I know nothing about computers,” he said at the Strangers With Candy premiere in June. “I get guys coming up to me saying, ‘Dude, what makes you think you’re better than PCs?’ I don’t even know where to begin! I know nothing about either. I’m computer illiterate.” Even worse, technology frightens him. “It scares me that they control so much of the world. I’m not taking a high road about it. I’m just not smart enough to figure them out. I still have never IMed. That scares me. It’s like, “Hi, it’s your friend you don’t really want to talk to and if you really wanted to talk to you could call.” At least, his rep assured us then, he’d been given a free Mac. One hopes he didn’t get too attached to it. — Jada Yuan Movie Star, Loosely Defined [Gawker] Apples Ditches ‘Mac Guy’ In New Ads [Radar Online]