A Fannypackahontas Bought Her Outfit for $24 in Trinkets
Species: The Fannypackahontas.
Etymology: A Fannypackahontas takes her fashion cues from a tribe that is clearly not her own (unless of course she’s actually one-sixteenth something or other); she steals her look and style from Native Americans, making her a latter-day Peter Minuit. (Haven’t these people suffered enough?)
Distinguishing characteristics: Fannypackahontases wear, well, fanny packs, a trend that should never have been resurrected. Unlike your grandmother’s nylon sack, however, this one is all leather and sterling silver, even with studs, baby. The unfortunate placement of the fringe is intentional: Fannypacks worship one other idol, and that is Samantha from Sex and the City. The blonde hair, the come hither stance, the completely sheer top (and that is a top, not a dress), the exposed nips — this girl knows what she wants and, damn it, she wants it now. We should note that these women do have one thing going for them: great shoes.
Known locales: Kokopelli, loading up on more bangles; Rodeo bar.
Diet: Dakota bison burgers, anything with cactus in it, peyote.
How to approach: “So, what’s in your pack?” Of course, you probably don’t want to know.
Endangerment status: At risk. Remember what happened to the Lenape? —Amina Akhtar
Pools, Parks, Protests!Astoria: The pool isn’t open yet, but at least there’s water in it now. [Joey in Astoria]
Carroll Gardens: Since that F-train petition is so popular, why not one against too tall buildings? [Carroll Gardens Petition via 423 Smith]
Dumbo: Work begins on the Pearl Street Triangle, but will the planned street furniture encourage the homeless to linger? [Dumbo NYC]
Morris Heights: Roberto Clemente State Park’s pools open today! [West Bronx News]
Willets Point: A contingent from this Queens industrial neighborhood protested eminent-domain abuse at City Hall yesterday. [Atlantic Yards Report]
Williamsburg: East River State Park will be open seven days a week beginning July 3. [I’m Not Sayin, I’m Just Sayin]
NBA Draft Tix Go Fast, Sportscaster to Be Left Un-HeckledThere’s a group of Knick fans, all graduates of Regis High School on the Upper East Side, who call themselves “The Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society of Gentlemen.” They grew famous — or at least became YouTube sensations — with their hilarious mockery of hyperbolic ESPN “analyst” Stephen A. Smith during the second round of last year’s NBA draft. But there is sad news to report about the society: The gentlemen have attended the last six NBA drafts, but, barring a miracle, they won’t be at the Madison Square Garden Theater for this year’s picks tonight. Tickets went on sale at 11 a.m. this morning, and the boys were there two hours early. But there were about 200 people in front of them, and maybe 400 behind, and, according to one security guard, only the first 110 people on line were able to purchase tickets before supplies ran out. They’d started lining up at 6 a.m.
Countdown to iPhone: Someone Left the Line Out in the Rain
You know what’s tons of fun? Sleeping out for three days to get an overpriced cell phone! You know what’s even more fun? Sleeping out in the pouring rain for an overpriced cell phone!
Patrick and Ryan Brave the First Storm [Flickr via Gridskipper]
Earlier: Daily Intel’s team coverage of the iPhone.
Revenge of the Flip-Flops!Finally, footwear vindication! Though we were embarrassed by our feet in the meatpacking district the other night, last night we could wear our flip-flops proudly: It was the 45th anniversary party for Havaiana flip-flops. We were in our Havaianas, standing in the roped-in party space on the second floor of the Time Warner Center, attempting to sip white wine and look moderately sophisticated while weary-eyed tourists in Borders stared at us through the glass wall as if they were watching monkeys pick bugs off each other at the Bronx Zoo. There were three giant flip-flops filled with foliage decorating the space (one had grass, one well-manicured daisies, and one overrun with orchids and jungle plants) and a helpful sign detailing the history of flip-flops: Apparently two out of three Brazilians own a pair of Havaianas! Sadly, though, among the perhaps 150 sets of feet last night, we counted only eight pairs of Havaianas and seven pairs of non-Havaiana flip-flops. Still, much better than that night in the meatpacking. —Jada Yuan
Earlier: In Which a Party Reporter Is Embarrassed by Her Footwear